bugs, horses, turkey and fingernails

A few days ago I went to fix myself some eggbeaters. After pouring the contents of the container into the pan I looked on the box and read, "consume within seven days of opening." It had been more than a week, more than two weeks since I had opened the container, but I was hungry and decided to take my chances. That was Monday and nothing has happened to me yet, so I think I'll be fine.

 

The real reason I wanted to post this blog was to share that story with you because in my own special way I felt as though I was living life on the edge. I realized that was not sufficient enough and so, here are some random pieces of goodness for you. Hopefully, these will make reading this worthwhile.

 

 

BUGS

 

On average, a firefly's lifespan will be one or two years, but it spends only 1-2 weeks of that life in its adult stage as the flashing insect most are familiar with. The rest of its life is spent underground in the larval stage.

 

Ladybugs gather in groups when they hibernate. Most live only for one season. But, some hibernate under logs, tree bark or in a house until the next spring.

 

 

HORSES

 

Why do they say, "I gotta pee like a race horse?"

 

Racehorses are commonly given Lasix (aka Salix), which is a powerful diuretic. They pee a lot right before they race; we're talking gallons and gallons. The medication is thought to help prevent nasal bleeding, which sometimes happens when racehorses supremely over-exert themselves.

 

 

TURKEY

 

"Cold turkey" is a slang expression describing the actions of a person who gives up a habit or addiction all at once. That is, rather than gradually easing the process through reduction or by using replacement medication. 

 

The etymology derives from the phrase talk turkey, in which someone deals matter-of-factly with a subject.

 

Some, however, believe the derivation is from the comparison of a cold turkey carcass and the state of a withdrawing addict, most notably, the cold sweats and goose bumps. It is often preceded by the verb "to go," as in "going cold turkey."

 

 

FINGERNAILS

 

The practice of adding color to fingernails appears to have begun with the Japanese and Italians around 3000 B.C. The color and condition of a person's nails has long been an indication of social status. In ancient times women were identified and separated from men by the color of their nails. Different tribes had different nail art; for example the Incas were well known for the eagles decorated on their fingernails.

 

Nail condition also identified common laborers, as they worked with their hands, having a finely manicured set of nails was not only impractical for them; it was an extravagance they couldn'tafford. Thus, only wealthy aristocrats from ancient times were seen with finely trimmed and decorated nails.

 

get yer gym on

Recently, I have been working out longer than usual. During these times I have noticed an array of characters at the gym. Here are my favorites:

  

1) The guy who doesn't wipe off the equipment: I used to be friendly with him last summer, but won't even say hello to him now. I don't understand why he thinks he doesn't need to wipe down the treadmill, especially after he sweats all over it. I have actually made a few friends as a result of his poor hygiene habit. When he gets done running and someone new goes to get on his treadmill, I warn them that he doesn't clean it off. They are always thankful that I have passed this information along to them.

 

2) Golf shirt man: Always wears a golf shirt when he works out. I have noticed three different varieties, but my favorite is the light pink with tan stripes.

 

3) Little T: Picture a huge, older black man in bike shorts, a long pink t-shirt and a short white half shirt over top of that. He wears the same thing every day, but I have never noticed that he smells badly and wow, can he get busy on the inclined sit up board.

 

4)  Stinky: He is a first year law student. I met him over the summer when he was apartment hunting, then I saw him at the gym and we made small talk. I began to notice a pattern that whenever he was on a treadmill the entire area smelled like sour feet (and that is being kind). One day my friend Lauren and I were down in the weight room. She said that she smelled something foul. We looked over and there he was, bench pressing his little heart out.

 

5) Heart Rate Boy: He rolls in every day between 11:00 and 11:30am. No matter how cold it is he is always wearing shorts, accompanied by a fleece pull over and beanie hat. He carries a Nike bag, not a gym bag, but more like a nylon sack with strings. He never puts his stuff in a locker. He always sets it next to the treadmill he is using. He has a small bottle of water which he places in the cup holder. His routine goes like this...crank the treadmill up to 11.3 and pound your feet while sprinting, then, half way through, hold on to the top of the treadmill...do this for approximately two and a half minutes and then hit stop...stand on the treadmill while holding the heart rate sensors...release your hands and lean against the side of the treadmill...put your hand over your heart to feel it beating...take a sip of water from your little bottle....put your hand over your heart again...repeat this four or five times.

 

 

Makes me wonder what people are thinking about me.

what goes around comes around

I was walking from the gym to my car on Tuesday afternoon when a man stopped me and asked me if I could spare any change because he "needed to make a phone call." I looked in my bag and the only thing I could come up with was my quarter, the one I put in the locker every day at the gym. I gave it to him without hesitation. The next day when I went to work out and opened the locker I always use, a quarter fell out.

Last night, I ordered sushi take out. I pulled into the parking lot and a man called out to me "excuse me, sir" which didn't phase me at all because after all it is winter and I am wearing my knit cap (please refer to previous blog posting). He was completely honest with me. He said he was homeless and wanted to know if I could spare any change. I told him I would give him something when I came out from picking up my food. I gave the guy a dollar and then he asked me if I could spare forty cents more, but I had no change.

Some day he will get his.

Karma fuck: A noun form of "what goes around comes around." When you've been screwing over everyone else around you, pissing off the universe and being a generally lame person, when you get screwed over it's your bad karma fucking you over.

yes sir...i mean ma'am

I have conceded to the fact that I will be called "he" for the next five months. At first it bothered me a little bit, but I've slowly gotten used to it. Now, I look forward to the winter months and the looks on people's faces as they try to determine if I am a twelve year old boy or something else.

 

Last year, the gym at school closed for a month around the Christmas holiday. I decided to get a trial membership at Bally's (yuck) during that time.

 

One day, on my way to the gym...

 

I was all geared up and on the road. I pulled off at Exit 28 (yes, I live in Jersey) and proceed up the ramp. At this time I noticed two things, first, the car in front of me was going about 3 miles per hour and second, the vehicle behind me was about to be in my trunk. I took a peek in my rear view and saw an Escalade, most definitely rollin' on twenties with tinted windows. The driver was an irate man.

 

The three car procession followed up the ramp, where it split. The slow car went left. I went right and the Escalade came up the shoulder to pass me. As he did this, we made eye contact and I flipped him off. Yup. He didn't particularly take a liking to this. He put down his window and asked me if I "wanted go." I thought to myself "Do I wanna go?" All I could do was laugh, but apparently he was serious and becoming increasingly irritated my decision to laugh. He followed me to the next traffic light. When we stopped I took off my winter hat, at which point he realized that I was a woman. The light changed and he turned around.

 

That was fun.

dispensable

Last month the dishwasher in one of my rental units broke. I thought about my options: pay someone to come out to look at it and potentially fix it OR just buy a new one. Dishwashers only cost about $250 so it made more sense to just buy a new one rather than have the old one fixed.

We have become a throw away society. Rather than try to fix something old that is broken we just go out and get one that is new and "better."

I would even go so far as to say that this throw away mentality has had a trickle down effect, to the point where we now see people as dispensable.

I thought about some of the ramifications of that statement: People have become increasingly unwilling to work on relationships and less tolerant of others. Many of the sick and elderly have been deemed unworthy and cast aside.

There is a philosopher by the name of John Rawls. He introduced a concept called the "veil of ignorance."

Parties behind the veil of ignorance are constrained so that their decisions will be fair ones: everyone's interests are represented and the decision cannot be biased in anyone's favor.

The veil of ignorance prevents people from knowing anything about their own situation in society. They are unaware of the talents and abilities, ethnicity and gender, religion or belief system of the citizens they represent. The idea is that this will end up designing a society that will be fair to everyone because they don't want to risk ending up in an intolerable position.

Maybe ignorance isn't such a bad thing after all.

balance

I woke up a few weekends ago after a night of intense partying and realized that something needed to change. This word had been stuck in my head for a few months now and I was desperately trying to do something with it.

Moments like these serve as a reminder of the importance of having balance in your life, of investing your time and energy into things that make you happy, things that are healthy not only physically, but emotionally as well. People tend to forget about this somewhere in between working 60 hour weeks, abusing their bodies, staying in unhealthy situations because they think people will change, because they feel trapped, because they feel like this is as good as it gets.

There is a recurring theme in my life, that I tend to over extend myself to people who don't appreciate it and it lends itself to friendships that become one sided. I am not sure what quality it is within me that seeks these types of bonds or if it is with any intent at all. Maybe I feel as though I can conquer these people. Maybe I think that if I show them just enough love or attention or whatever that they will reciprocate.

So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is that I am going to try to make some better decisions in the future regarding the people and activities I invest myself into.

"I live every day like there'll never be a last one 'til they're gone and they're gone, oh but I'm too proud to beg for your attention and your friendship and your time, so you can come and get it from now on."

- Brandi Carlile

Commentary by someone who shall remain nameless:

In response to this extract, I 110% agree with you and I feel the exact same way. There's really nothing to add to that cause I think you pretty much covered it all. But if I had to add just one thing it would be that all this comes with a sense of maturity. Only when someone is mature enough to stop their life for a moment, step out, and view it as an outside perspective, are they able to analyze their life or situation and apply something as abstract as balance into the equation. You never see younger people being able to do something like that. And that's not a bad thing; they just aren't ready or able to do so yet. They're the type that is very self-centered and tunnel visioned and cannot mentally visualize stepping back out of all that and seeing what's really there. It kinda goes back to my whole argument on people's innate ability to see what they want to see. That's all I have to add. You did a very good job cutting it to a tee. Bravo.

'tis the season

These thoughts began to cross my mind around Halloween time when I noticed an abundance of inflatable lawn decorations popping up all over the place. There was the traditional pumpkin to go along with my personal favorite which is three ghosts rising out of a cauldron like jack-o-lantern. A new edition this year was Halloween Elmo to go along with the old standbys, Halloween Pooh and Halloween Tigger.

Halloween came and went and then I began to notice inflatable turkeys appearing on lawns. The most popular seems to be the pilgrim turkey or as I fondly refer to it the “turkey in a top hat.”

When did all of this excess decorating become appropriate? Honestly, when I was growing up all my mom did was hang a few cardboard pumpkins in the window. Halloween wasn’t any less special without the presence of a giant balloon on my lawn.

Being festive is great, really it is, but when did decorating for Thanksgiving become customary? How about those giant inflatable bunnies at Easter time? Here in Philadelphia, we love the Eagles so much that we have even found the need to decorate for football season.




At first I thought this was just a regional phenomenon. Surely, people in other parts of the country are far too classy to decorate for the holidays in such fashion. After careful research AKA the Wal-Mart web site, I discovered that in fact people all over the country enjoy these loveable guys.

Now that Christmas time is upon us they are just everywhere!





Even more disturbing is seeing them during the day time when they are in non-action mode. Imagine what is going through the mind of a small child who passes a house with a dead turkey or snowman sitting on the front lawn.





No, frosty isn't dead, he's just resting because night time is when all the fun happens!