untitled

On our last day in Glacier, my brother dropped me at the trail head for Avalanche Lake and I started to walk. The most significant thing about this hike is that I've done it at least a half dozen times. It is familiar. I approached the shore line and reached into my pocket...two rings in my hand...and then they were gone. I turned around, walked back to the trail head and caught a hikers shuttle to the lodge. 

I did some packing tonight. In a way, it felt like I was preparing for a trip...and I guess that, in some respects, I am. Tomorrow is a new year and I will be starting it off a little bit lighter.

reflections from the dirt

Life seems to have gotten in the way lately, impairing my ability to reflect.

I was finally able to have some quiet time on Christmas Day. The sun was supposed to come out, but it didn't  The wind was supposed to die down, but it didn't...and I didn't mind. It was an opportunity to be on the road, alone...an opportunity to process the months of September, October and November. Those three months were a blur of dirt and happiness.

I approached cyclcocross season with a completely different perspective than road season. I raced for fun. I didn't train. I had no goals. And it worked for me, perhaps because there was no pressure.

Seven races seemed like a good number for my first season. My last race was Crossasaurus Awesome, which netted me a fourth place finish in the Cat 3/4 field. I was content.

The laid back atmosphere paired with the intensity of racing was a perfect combination. No activity better suits my personality.

Several months ago I described cyclcocross as the sport that I never knew that I always wanted to try and now it’s the sport that I don’t ever want to be without. 

between the pumpkins and the mistletoe

The pumpkins came down and the snowmen went up. Halloween candy was still on the clearance shelves when the Christmas decorations made their appearance in stores. The turkey got lost, somewhere between the pumpkins and the mistletoe.

Where did Thanksgiving go?

I read an article the other day, which talked about Christmas being a reminder of the things we don’t have. That doesn’t necessarily have to mean material things. Three years, each with a (different) significant person in my life missing for the Holidays. I too am guilty of focusing on the absence rather than the presence.

In the final days leading up to Christmas I have decided to take a step back, several steps back, rewinding to Thursday November 22^nd, taking pause and being thankful. 

cheers

There’s a line in the theme song from the show Cheers that says “Sometimes you want go where everybody knows your name." 

Sometimes, it’s nice to go where nobody knows your name.

I stepped on to the street and into a sea of people. Each face had a different story to tell. I wondered if any of them were curious about my story. I walked the streets where no one knew my name and the most they wanted from me were directions or spare change.

I stepped on to the trail and into the woods. It was growing dark and began to rain. This trip was intentional. No one would be here in this type of weather. I’ve walked in worse. It is a small price to pay to be able to hear nothing but the sound of your own footsteps.

12/12/12: A Day of Awesomeness

 

Believe...Miracle on 34th Street...Macy's. Penn Station to Chambers...sunset walk over the Brooklyn Bridge...view of Lady Liberty...The Watchtower (new info on Jehovah and his witnesses)...freshly made pizza at Grimaldi's...a new friend (Rafael)...walk to the water...nutcrackers...East River Boat...The Eifel Tower. Subway to West Village...hot chocolate with gelato in it...walk to the famous Union Square...statue of George on a horse...wafels and dinges. Subway to Rockefeller Center...big red balls...oversized Christmas lights...Yankee Santa...lights! THE Tree...ice skaters...5th Avenue...more lights! Kobe Bryant. Walk along Central Park South...free the horses...a new friend and cocoa beans in their natural state...chocolate samples...Columbus Circle...Time Warner Center. Walk to Lincoln Center...The MET Opera Tree...Santa in a plane...tree of blue lights. A great day.


*stream of consciousness...courtesy of Marge

love it or list it

Earlier this afternoon, a friend of mine sent me a picture message of a Philadelphia Starbucks mug I had given her for Christmas last year. I considered adding to her collection this Holiday and remembered the Fairmount Park Starbucks mug my Aunt had given me for Christmas a few years ago.

A quick Google search revealed that the 2007 mug is considered rare and last sold on eBay for $166.

I have been using the mug a couple times a week, unaware of its value. My coffee tastes like coffee regardless of the mug. I'm not really much of a collector and see no point in sticking it on a shelf. So, I am faced with a decision...do I cash in on eBay or continue to use it like all the other mugs?

snow globes

There is a snow globe packed away in the holiday decorations. Each year it makes an appearance and is placed on a shelf. The landscape is serene, with the "snow" settled at the base of the structure until it is shaken. 

Today, I thought that, in many ways, my life is like that snow globe. The debris of past storms have settled into the back of my consciousness. Then, something stirs them up and all of the sudden they are there, swirling around me. If anything, my experiences this week have made me realize just how fragile I can be at times and how easily emotions can get stirred up inside of me.

no room

The caffè americano is my drink of choice when patronizing local coffee shops. My favorite part of the ordering process is when the barista asks if I want room for cream. "No room" is always my response. It makes me feel like such a bad-ass. That's right, I drink it straight up, no cream or sugar...and I'm not sure why because I don't drink my morning coffee that way...until now...enter the Bialetti 6799 Moka Express 3-Cup Stovetop Espresso Maker, the best $21.48 I ever spent on amazon.com, which enables me to make a caffè americano every morning. So far, I have only used it to add shots of espresso to my morning coffee(highly recommended). This week I'm making the switch to becoming a "no room" every morning, bad-ass.

the push and the pull

It's dirty and overcrowded. People are rude and always in a hurry. The roads are packed with traffic and littered with strip malls.

I hate the way it makes me feel. It isn't remotely close to being right for me, but it is "right for right now." 

This morning, I didn't wake up on my own. At the bottom of the stairs lay the reminder of why I am here...and it makes me feel guilty for wishing I could be somewhere else. 

I live each day with the push and the pull.

So I will walk the Batona Trail again...I will walk the AT to Sunfish Pond again...I will walk on the fire road where I won't see another person for hours and pretend that I am anywhere but here.

Active Recovery

The concept of Active Recovery was introduced to me last year while training for my first road racing season. Active Recovery was to be used in lieu of total rest and be no more stressful than walking.  

As time passed I learned that rest and recovery are just as important, if not more important than hard efforts. Active Recovery became a vital component to maintaining balance in my training regimen. 

I was giving some thought to all of this last week...I took the notion of Active Recovery away from the context of training and looked at it in a new light, one which acknowledges the other parts of our being (spiritual, mental, emotional) and I started to realize that the concept of Active Recovery can be used in these spheres as well. 

Emotionally, I've been in AR mode for nearly two years...and I'm ok with that...there was a time when I gave 100% of myself and I'm sure that time will come again, just not now. Spiritually, I sat in AR mode for years, trying to figure it all out...and then I took a walk in the woods and everything made sense. Mentally, it is a challenge to put racing thoughts to rest, but I do my best to leave them behind while on the trail or on the road.

There are people who give 100% all of the time. There are people who don't listen to their bodies when they are hurting (in any of these spheres). Sooner or later it will catch up to them. 

marathon

Marathons have gained popularity in recent years. I found this interesting... 

Origin: The name Marathon comes from the legend of Pheidippides, a Greek messenger. The legend states that he was sent from the battlefield of Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persians had been defeated in the Battle of Marathon (in which he had just fought), which took place in August or September 490 BC. It is said that he ran the entire distance without stopping and burst into the assembly, exclaiming "Νενικήκαμεν" (Nenikékamen, 'We have won.') before collapsing and dying.

Crossasaurus Awesome

This race marked a few more firsts. It was the first time I have raced two days in a row...and...it was the first time that I received a "call up." Basically, what this means is that, due to a few strong finishes in the PA Series, I got to line up in the first row. That didn't make much of a difference once the whistle blew.

Anticipating a bottleneck at the first technical section of our initial lap, I wasn't too anxious to make a push. Once through that spot, there was a flat straightway and my road instincts kicked in...hammer! I passed a bunch of people and was in the top ten. Making my way through the technical section on the third lap, someone from behind me calls out "pedal, pedal, pedal." It was the friend I made the day before at FSVS Xross. She coached me through and I nailed that section on the remaining two laps. Pushing on and passing a few more riders, I had now moved up in to sixth. On the fourth lap, someone went down and I narrowly missed getting caught up in it. Using this to my advantage I took off and into fourth place, right on the wheel of someone with good technical skills. I followed her lines the remainder of the race, content with a fourth place finish.

A cool down, off to the car for a recovery drink and a change of clothes, then back to see the results. I was called to the podium and received a bag full of goodies. Standing with friends, chatting, I had completely forgotten the fact that I was about to pee my pants at the start of the race (which was delayed due to a protest). I made my way to the Potty Queen and, to my pleasure it was still fully stocked with toilet paper. Now THAT is a good day!

First State Velo Sport Xross @ Fair Hill

This was a MAC Series race. The 3/4 field was slightly more competitive than the PA Series, where many of the strong Cat 3 women opt to race in the 1/2/3 field. Today, they were my competition.

I warmed up on the course, then it started to rain and I retreated to the car. As appealing as a cyclocross race in the rain may sound, I was thankful that the sun appeared just in time for the start of my race.

3-2-1 Go! And the rest, well, it’s pretty much the same story...heart rate maxed and a huge smile on my face. This course had significantly more climbing than any of the others this season. In fact, the 610 feet of climbing (in 6.6 miles) is more than what I'll do on some 40 mile rides here in the South of Jersey.

On the last lap I caught another rider and was right on her wheel. It was someone I had introduced myself to and chatted with earlier in the day. As we made the turn onto the final stretch I noticed that she was slowing down. Perhaps my breathing wasn’t as loud of a warning sound as I thought it was. I told her to get moving or I was going to pass her. I can’t imagine what someone in a road race would have said to me if I did that. She appreciated the encouragement though and I decided that I would rather gain a friend than another spot in the standings.

I cooled down and headed to the car, only to discover that I was bleeding...blood running down my leg and I have no idea when, where, how that happened...got cleaned up and headed to check out the results...9^th place and the top Cat 4 in the field...that’ll do!

Rolled out and on to Starbucks...let’s make that a Grande Americano, no room...and so hot that I was half way back to the Jerz before I could even take a sip!

bird party

Stoudts Cross

Upon realizing that there'd be two whole weeks between Independence Cross and my next planned race at Fairhill, I hopped on bikereg in an attempt to satiate my newly discovered addiction to cyclocross. Not only did I find a (somewhat local) cross race, but a cross race that was at a brewery. This was going to be a great event! 

Race day was 45 degrees and overcast with wind. Superstorm Sandy had left several sections of the course resembling a mud bog. This, I have been told, is what cross is all about. I pre-rode the course, then warmed up in my car until it was time for staging. 

There were at least 30 women pre-registered for the 3/4 event with a few more day of. It was the largest field I had been in and, having waited until the last minute to register, I was in the last row to start. The whistle blew and I took advantage of the paved sections at the beginning of the course to move up a few spots. 

The first lap was pretty congested, but then we started to spread out and I got into a better rhythm (AKA heart rate was maxed and stayed there). On the second lap I went down on an off-camber section, which left some pretty nice bruises on my right leg. On the third lap, I successfully grabbed a dollar bill in the "hecklers corner" only to drop it after going off the course and crashing into a tree. Needless to say, I made some fans in that section and they were cheering loudly for me as I took my final lap. This time they had a dollar bill in a cup, which I narrowly missed grabbing with my teeth. 

My decision to have fun during cross season might have cost me fourth place in this race, but it was well worth it. I finished in 5th place (my best result for a 3/4 race), had an absolute blast and now it was time to drink good beer.

The highlight of my day came shortly after the race had ended. I was out of breath, covered in mud and my lungs felt like they were bleeding. I congratulated the fourth place finisher. We had battled back and forth the entire race. Then I looked at her and said "You must have at least ten years on me." To which she replied "I'm 18." "Oh" I said "Im 38." 

Happy to have brought a plastic bag, I placed my muddy clothes and shoes in their proper place, slipped on a pair of sweats and headed down to the brewery, where I enjoyed good beer and conversation with friends. I love cross.

Superstorm Sandy, Paleo Edition

My mom had been making ice since last Thursday. There wasn't an inch of space in the freezer that wasn't consumed by frozen water, in a variety of shapes. The GIANT turkey breast had been removed and was in the oven. In the event that the power went out, turkey would be consumed for the next several days. Every container that wasn't used to make ice was holding water. Candles, batteries, flashlights and a wind up powered radio were neatly placed on the kitchen table. The grill was bungeed down. The patio furniture was brought into the garage.  

It was Saturday. 

On the way home from Independence CX, I passed the grocery store. The parking lot looked like the mall on Black Friday. 

It was time to make my storm preparations. 

I grabbed my Petzl head lamp, charged my phone and filled my water bottles. I had recently gone shopping so there were plenty of fruits and vegetables on hand as well as an assortment of nuts. I cooked a package of organic chicken and placed it into a container with some roasted butternut squash. 

Thankfully, we were spared from the brunt of the storm. Many friends and family members were not so fortunate and my thoughts are with them as they struggle to regain some semblance of normalcy in their lives.

oh hey, pumpkin

I was carving my pumpkin the other night...

note the artistic skills of a five year old

and began to wonder how pumpkins go from this...

to this...

Surprisingly, no one I asked knew the answer. So I did some research and found out how to make pumpkin puree. 

Directions 
1) Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). 
2) Cut the pumpkin in half, stem to base. Remove seeds and pulp. Cover each half with foil. 
3) Bake in the preheated oven, foil side up, 1 hour, or until tender. 
4) Scrape pumpkin meat from shell halves and puree in a blender. Strain to remove any remaining stringy pieces. Store in the freezer in freezer safe bags.

Independence Cross

I had not signed up for Independence Cross by the time that registration closed on Wednesday evening. The listing on Bikereg made it appear as if it was a women's open field and there were only two Cat 4 women registered. On Thursday afternoon, registration reopened and I received clarification that there would be a separate start for the Cat 4 women. At this point, a few more had registered and of course I couldn't stay away.

It was still dark outside when I arrived to register and pre-ride the course. Daylight arrived quickly, only to reveal two unfriendly sights, the "pain steps" and the beach, which were both parts of the course.

Each course has exposed me to a different element, so in that sense every race has felt like my first. This course had a lot of sand...sandy trails in the woods, sand pits and a stretch of beach, which required riders to dismount and shoulder their bikes.

And, just like last weekend in West Chester, I became more comfortable as the race progressed. I found myself picking better lines, braking at the appropriate times and riding in the sand without hesitation. None of this, however did much to ease the comfort of the "pain steps" which, by the final lap of the race appeared to be eight feet tall...and that short stretch of beach...yeah, that was at least 400 meters...and my bike...yeah, that weighed about 50 pounds.

So far, my focus during cross races has been on 1) staying upright and 2) not launching myself into an exercise induced asthma attack. If I am successful at those two things while passing a bunch of riders, then it's a good day in my book. Saturday was a good day. In fact, it was my best this season, placing third in my field.

West Chester Cross Classic

My next race report was supposed to be from Independence Cross on October 27th in Bridgeton, NJ...but something happened the day after Cooper River Cross...I couldn't wait to do it again...two days later, I woke up and thought to myself "I really want a mountain bike so I can get some more time in the woods to work on bike handling skills." By Thursday evening I was registered for the West Chester Cross Classic.

I arrived early to pre-ride the course. It was more challenging than the previous two (WhirlyBird and Cooper River) and I conceded to the fact that this may well be the race that I would go down on one of those off-camber sections...but I didn't...in fact, I started to feel more comfortable as the race went on and turned in my best finish so far...sixth place in the Cat 3/4 field.

At the beginning of cross season, I identified three local races that I wanted to do. It was an attempt to get a taste of the action without having to wake up at the crack of dawn and drive an hour or two, like I did during road season. By the end of November I will most likely have completed double that number of races. My experience over the past month has definitely changed the way I am going to approach winter training and the next road season.

Oh, the Places I'll Go...

Two Wheels
One Speed
No Agenda

patterns

We all want to feel like we matter to somebody. Just be careful not to overestimate your worth.

Everything that glitters is not gold. A person's tendencies might be sensed quickly, but it's just speculation. True patterns take time to develop and be seen.

Just another number.

tough love

Last week I sold my Asus Netbook on eBay and used the money to purchase a Kindle Fire HD. 

I could probably count on one hand the number of books I've read for pleasure. Two rounds of graduate school took all of the enjoyment out of reading...or at least that's been my excuse...but I'm pushing myself to make a change.

My theory is that I will force myself to read more, knowing that I spent $200 on a Kindle. 

We'll see how it goes...