our wants

One of my friends from college got a pretty decent job after graduation. She bought a new car and got her own apartment. A few years later, she switched companies, received a promotion and bought a house. Most people would see this as a success story, but the truth is she was miserable. The promotion meant longer hours and more responsibilities. The pay increase covered the mortgage and taxes. The more she made, the more she spent...she was barely getting by.

I came across this quote the other day and it sort of speaks to her story...

“There are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.” 

― Nigel Marsh

I'm a personal trainer at a local gym. I was training a client in September. She was getting ready to go on a trip and asked me what I wanted her to bring me back. I politely told her "nothing." When she returned, she asked what I had done over the weekend. I said that it was my birthday and that I went out to dinner with my family. She asked me what I got for my birthday. My response was "nothing." Then I followed up to make sure that she understood...I received nothing because I asked for nothing...I asked for nothing because there was nothing that I need.

Too many people in this world are never satisfied. They should probably take a good long hard look at what they want vs. what they need. 

There is a feeling of liberation that comes with not wanting things. 

This holiday season, the season of wanting, I am making it a point to not purchase gifts. Instead, I will offer my family and friends the gift of my time...the gift of an experience, one we can share together...the memory of which will last longer than any store bought item.

between the pumpkins and the mistletoe

The pumpkins came down and the snowmen went up. Halloween candy was still on the clearance shelves when the Christmas decorations made their appearance in stores. The turkey got lost, somewhere between the pumpkins and the mistletoe.

Where did Thanksgiving go?

I read an article the other day, which talked about Christmas being a reminder of the things we don’t have. That doesn’t necessarily have to mean material things. Three years, each with a (different) significant person in my life missing for the Holidays. I too am guilty of focusing on the absence rather than the presence.

In the final days leading up to Christmas I have decided to take a step back, several steps back, rewinding to Thursday November 22^nd, taking pause and being thankful. 

thanksgiving

I don’t really follow politics, but I know enough about what’s going on with the “job crisis.” I know it because I have two master’s degrees and couldn’t find a job for a year and a half. And, even now, the jobs I am working are part-time because benefits cost too much for full time employees.

During the last year I have undergone a sort of transformation, a paradigm shift if you will. It was met with some resistance by my rational side, but in the end it was the best thing I could do for my own well being.

When I was younger, I went to school. It was what I did. After college, I got a job. It was what I did. As I grew older, I began noticing the first question most people ask someone is “What do you do?”

It didn’t take me long to realize that, to an extent, our jobs define us. They consume the majority of our day. And so, for ten years I was a researcher...it was what I did...and then, it was gone.

Being unemployed for a year and a half was a struggle, but in all honesty, the emotional strain far outweighed the financial aspect of not having a job. Every time I met someone new and they asked me what I did for a living, it felt like a kick in the gut.

As time passed, I began to drift away from the mindset that work (what I did for a living) was a necessary component of what defines me. My actions, my thoughts, my beliefs are what define me, 24/7, not just from 9 to 5.

And so, during this time of giving thanks, I would like to offer my most sincere gratitude for the people in my life who have stuck by my side during one of the most difficult times in my life. Thank you for your patience, understanding and faith in me...and most importantly, thank you for not giving up on me.


“Be mindful of what you toss away, be careful of what you push away, and think hard before you walk away.”