soul searching

the ten minute criterium

Waffles make me happy. Correction, waffles used to make me happy. Over the past few years, my diet has become more restrictive to accommodate some digestive issues.
Occasionally, I will stray. Sometimes it's not a big deal, other times I pay the price...today was one of those times.

Woke up with mild stomach discomfort, which became worse as I drove to the race...drank a bottle of a bottle of accelerade and felt better during my warm-up.

The first lap I went off the front to test my legs and felt pretty good. The field did not respond so I went back into the pack for another two laps. That's when it hit me. Unable to fight it off, I made a bee-line for the port-o-potty.

Lesson learned...four belgian waffles are not an acceptable dinner on the night before a race...but they were mighty tasty!

Never Let Fear Win

I was having a conversation with a friend last week. We talked about fear, of being afraid...whether it's fear of dying, fear of being alone, fear of failure or something else, sometimes the things we are afraid of impact the decisions we make, the way we live our lives. 

It's restrictive. We place boundaries on ourselves because of it...and then there were the events in Boston this week which invoked feelings of fear in so many people. 

In all honesty, you're never completely safe, but if we allowed that thought to pervade we'd never get anywhere.

Our talk made me think a little bit about my own fears. I was driving to Pitman the other day when four words popped into my head "never let fear win." Last season I had a mental melt down at the Giro Del Cielo Criterium. I pulled myself from the race and vowed to never enter another criterium. I was scared.

If you quit because you are afraid then fear wins. Never let fear win.

My first race of the 2013 road season is tomorrow. It is the Daniel Harwi Memorial 26th Annual Lower Providence Spring Classic Criterium. Check back for a race report!

The Tumbleweave Diaries

weave in the crosswalk...

Plan B

I rolled up to the Post Office at 4:05pm on April 15th. In hand were two envelopes containing fairly large checks. I knew that when I sold my investment property on 19th Street last year there would be some tax implications, but not of this magnitude. 

I've cut so many things out of my life in an attempt to live simply that there aren't many more ways to trim the fat...yet now I am faced with this challenge. Learning to do without makes you more appreciative of what you have.  

People are resilient. You are resilient too, whether you believe it or not. Think about how many times in our lives we have been forced to come up with a "Plan B." Sometimes we have time to prepare for it in advance and other times it takes us by surprise, but we get by. We wake up and face each day just like we always have.

mind dump

I don't know where the past month has gone. Somehow, I've found myself staring at piles...piles of clothes, piles of mail and piles of paper work. And, there are piles of ideas, sitting in a folder on my desktop, but they too have escaped me, just like these piles that I'm staring at. It's been raining all day. It can be sunny for a week, but somehow, a rainy day can make it feel like the sun is never going to come out again. I'm using the time to be productive...and by that I mean sampling new musical artists, drinking too much coffee and catching up on laundry. 

Last month I started working as a personal trainer at my local gym. The fitness industry is something that has always seemed to be calling me, but I've had my reservations. The first was wondering if I'd be good enough at it. The second was the fear that something I love would lose it's appeal to me if it became a career. So far, it's been a pleasant surprise and I've enjoyed the challenge of creating fitness plans for my clients, each of whom have different needs and goals. One of the women I work with is close to 300 pounds. The first time I met her I had been having a pretty shitty day, but her attitude made it hard not to smile. There was nothing I asked of her that she wouldn't do. Her determination made me ashamed of the way I have judged overweight people. Had I encountered her in any other environment, my thoughts about her would have been completely different. The experience was a much appreciated wake up call. 

A few weeks ago I received an email from my coach saying that I had "nailed my power test." As a result, my workouts were about to get 10% harder. It was a bittersweet feeling. It is nice to see a progression after three months of training, but now, just about every workout I complete is alone. Four days a week, I drive to the municipal lot in Pitman, park my car and hit the road with only my iPod shuffle for company. It has shown me a different side of cycling, one that is somewhat lonely. I've grown to appreciate the dichotomy. Last year, I was introduced to an amazing group of people through group rides. In that respect, it has made me feel included. Now, I am feeling a bit of isolation. I realize that it doesn't have to be this way; I don't have to train this hard, but the challenge is something that I am unable to resist. 

The piles are staring at me. I am staring back at them. I think I will finally get around to tidying up, something I've put off for a month, much like this posting.