Purpose

I’ve always said that I work to live, not live to work and that I’d never let my job define me. While that still holds true I have come to realize that our jobs give us a sense of purpose. This was a painful realization that I arrived at during the past several months of the COVID pandemic. 

On March 16th at 8PM all gyms in the State of NJ officially closed and I became unemployed. Like most people, I figured we’d resume our normal daily activities in a month or so. Four months later I am still out of work. 

Financially it has been a strain, but I’m resourceful and have been able to get by. The real struggle has been emotional. I feel like a hamster on a wheel...going nowhere, contributing nothing. 

The opportunity to hike the Long Trail has provided me with a renewed sense of purpose. I am thankful for this opportunity and for the kindness everyone has shown. It has been the only source of light during this dark time.

gRaTiTuDe

I recently read an article entitled "Self-Rule Choices You Can Make to Increase Your HRV and Immunity." One of the suggestions involved practicing gratitude every morning and every night.

It has been a while since I've written anything. The past four months have been a mind numbing experience. I've gone to a pretty dark place, mainly because I've been out of work and have lost my sense of purpose. I don't feel like I am contributing anything. The sun rises and the sun sets. Every day feels like a carbon copy of the one that preceded it. 

I've spent a lot of time exercising, but even that can take its toll on the body and the mind. Rest days are particularly difficult. Today was a rest day. Today was the day I decided to begin my journey of gratitude. I realized that rest days shouldn't been viewed in such a negative light. I should be grateful for rest days...after all, that means I have the ability to push my body to its physical limits. I am thankful for the ability to be active. I am thankful for the days when I can rest.