sold

Several years ago, I got involved with an investment property. It turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The financial burdens of this “partnership” fell completely on me. I spent the better part of three years being very unhappy about the way things had unfolded, knowing that there was little that I could do to remedy the situation.

Then one evening I received a call that my “partner” was in jail. About a week later, the building was on the market. It sat for a year and a half with only a handful of very low offers. Last week a suitable offer was made and the agreement of sale contract was signed.

In less than a month, a HUGE weight will be off my shoulders. The people who I am closest to know the negative impact that this has had on my life. I am truly thankful for their support over the years. It was a learning experience, one that I will not soon forget.

D173

In six months, this will be my backyard for the week...

one year removed

And in the blink of an eye, a year has passed...

It’s been one year since I lost my best friend.

I’ve read a few news stories recently about dogs refusing to leave their owner’s grave. Most days I feel like those dogs. It’s not a longing for the past. It’s not a refusal to move forward. It’s more a function of feeling suspended in time.

just a man

I have a love-hate relationship with the city (Philadelphia). It’s dirty, crowded and people are rude, but it’s also overflowing with culture and what I like to refer to as “learning opportunities.”

Several years ago, a friend of mine came to visit from Maryland for the first time. A man who grabbed his balls with one hand and flipped off a car with the other as he was crossing the street at 10th and Walnut properly initiated her.

That’s Philadelphia.

My own struggle is rooted in having worked in the dirtiest, poorest parts of the city for the past decade. These are the places where, for many young men, hope is just hoping to make it until their twenty-first birthdays.

I’ve tried to counter balance this by making an effort to have positive experiences in the city. At least once a week I will go to a park, coffee shop or even just walk the streets in one of my favorite neighborhoods to soak it all in.

Recently, my friend and I were at a bar and started talking to man who was sitting by himself. He had recently moved here from the Boston area. Prior to that he had lived in a few other big cities, but he liked Philadelphia the best. He said that living here was the first time he felt like people treated him like just a man, instead of a black man.

That’s Philadelphia.

the last day of our acquaintance

It was the last day of our acquaintance. I didn’t know it at the time. We walked home from dinner, holding hands. You took me to the living room, where a wrapped present was waiting for me. I squeezed you tight and thanked you, looking forward to using my new snowshoes with you...but that never happened. I will always wonder what would have happened if it didn’t rain that weekend.

And within a week I was tossed to the curb like garbage.

One year later, the scene still plays in my mind.

The most difficult part is the lingering feeling that the one person I cared about more than anything else in the world gave up on me. It is bittersweet to see the changes that have occurred in my life because they cannot be shared with her. I want so badly for her to know that I am the person I always knew that I could be, it just took a little bit of time to get there.

double tall mocha no whipped

I have about $40 in Starbucks gift cards sitting in my desk drawer. Yesterday, I decided to put them to good use by trying a high end coffee beverage for the first time. I stared at the menu for a few minutes before deciding on a mocha. For seventy five cents I could get an extra shot of espresso. Perfect! I approached the counter and ordered a small mocha with an extra shot of espresso. The lady at the counter informed me that it already comes with one shot. Acting as if I already knew this I said "I know, but I want two." She asked if I wanted whipped cream. I declined and handed her my gift card. Then, my order was broadcast for all of Starbucks to hear "double tall mocha, no whipped."

I always thought it was kinda obnoxious that Starbucks needed special names for "small, medium and large." Today I went back for another fancy coffee drink. This time I tried to use Starbucks lingo and ordered a "Grande Americano." It didn't sound right, at least not coming from my mouth.

back to 2005

A couple months ago I purchased an iPhone. My Samsung flip phone, which I affectionately referred to as “2005” stopped working. Being my first “smart phone” the iPhone has been fairly easy to use and I transitioned to the touch screen without a problem.

I can’t say that owning a phone with a data plan has made my life infinitely better. In fact, I think I’m worse off, which is why I have chosen to ditch my iPhone for an old, used flip phone.