Homeostasis

I had already decided on this title, and then realized that it’s not exactly in line with the proper definition of the word...but it’ll do.

I’m fresh off the worst six months of my life. The fun started in March when I became unemployed. From there, it was a steady diet of unfortunate events...a broken hot water heater which ruined just about everything in the basement, a tenant refusing to vacate, then threatening to sue me, my business partner getting arrested (which eventually led to our building being listed for sale), a mysterious leak in the basement of the building for sale, which persisted for months, making it unable to be shown to buyers, my dog was diagnosed with lyme disease and finally, my fiancé getting hit on her bicycle by a car...that’s the quick and dirty of it. I still can’t believe that so many shitty things happened in such a short amount of time. It had gotten to the point where I went into survival mode, just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

Someone said that I can’t help but have changed after all that has taken place.

I don’t know that I have necessarily changed as a result of all of this. In the midst of it all, I was being pulled in a direction that is far from the person I truly am. My life is relatively simple and stress free. With so many stressful events happening back to back to back, there was no time to refocus and gain balance. Instead, I was taken even further off center.

The word homeostasis means the ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes. When the dust settled I found myself striving to get back to being me again. Having as strong a sense of self as I do is a double-edged sword. When it is compromised as it has been recently, it puts you in a really bad place. But on the other hand, it is easy to restore once things calm down.

As this year draws to a close and a new one begins, I find myself back to the place where I need to be and thankful that the past will stay there.