Honestly, I don’t understand how someone who is such a big part of your life can just cut you off completely. I would never do that to someone that I care about. I could never do that to someone, knowing that they had been through it before, knowing the pain that it caused them.
I’ve taken three trips around the sun since the last time this happened. My “train wreck” of a life was well documented during that experience. I shut myself off from feeling a lot of things, I disconnected, I retreated...it took a year and a half for the hurting to stop. What I’ve come to realize is that, even though I stopped feeling the pain, I never resumed feeling the pleasure. I’ve been viewing life through an opaque lens. At best, I’ve been indifferent to the world around me...at worst, I’ve been numb.
I’ve gotten plenty good at feeling pain of all kinds. This time, I am not going to allow it to carry me away to that dark place. This time, I will be the difference maker.
No comments:
Post a Comment