sans goals

Over the course of the past several years I’ve had discussions with significant others, friends, family and even strangers about the direction my life has taken. Twenty years of education and two Master’s Degrees later, I find myself working at a local gym for $15/hour. I am happy and I love what I do. It’s not a career, it’s a job and it doesn’t define me. I’ve moved away from concrete goals and more toward the abstract. I do what excites me.  I invest myself in the things that I am passionate about. I don’t worry about where I will be in a year or even six months from now, but instead focus on the present and being happy now.

I am not a competitor. I never have been. Near the end of last CX season, my anxiety level was at an all time high. What started two years ago as something I was doing for fun had become a source of stress. The pre-race ritual, the warm up lap, the starting line...it had all become too much, to the point where I had considered giving up racing entirely. 

Then I read an article on breaking free from goals. The author mentions that goals are artificial and constraining. They make us focus on the future instead of the present. But most of all, with goals, you are never satisfied. Goals are a way of saying, “When I’ve accomplished this (or all these goals), I will be happy then. I’m not happy now, because I haven’t achieved my goals.” This is never said out loud, but it’s what goals really mean. The problem is, when we achieve the goals, we don’t achieve happiness. We set new goals, strive for something new.

Here’s to a season full of accomplishments without goals.