March 1: Cranium

Cranium made its debut in November 1998. I played it for the first time today.

reclamation

rec·la·ma·tion

1. The act or process of reclaiming.
2. A restoration, as to productivity, usefulness, or morality.


March Project: A photo a day

Disclaimer: I never said that I was good at photography



I got the idea for this from my friend Arleigh in Charlotte, NC.

signs

The signs are there for us to interpret so that we can make sense of the world and feel comfort.

My mom-mom passed away early in the morning on January 28th.

Up until two days before she died, my visits were just like they always had been. It was a Monday, around dinnertime. I always made sure that I came to see her when I knew no one else would be there. We shared a special bond, which was most evident during our one on one time.

She slept during the entire visit, opening her eyes from time to time so I know that she felt my presence. Usually whenever I left I would blow her kisses and tell her that I would see her tomorrow. This time, I held her hand for a while and rubbed her arm. I told her that I loved her. She opened her eyes and told me that she loved me too and then drifted off. It took all of her strength to speak those words and all of mine to not break down.

The day she died was cold and gray. There was snow, sleet and rain. On the day of her funeral it was unseasonably warm and the sun was shining bright. The next day it snowed six inches.

Because of certain circumstances, I have not yet been able to grieve her loss completely. So many parts of my life have become intertwined with the millions of emotions that I’ve had circling around me for the past year and a half. It will take a while to sort it all though, figuring out what to keep and what to let go.

I suppose that’s just part of the process.

Sunday was a particularly rough day for me, so I went to the cemetery. The flowers from her funeral were still on the grave. There were carnations, gladiolas and some other purple flowers. Everything was wilted and water logged from the snow with the exception of one red rose. It was the only rose there. She left that for me, to let me know that everything was going to be all right.

Cooper Digestive Health Institute

AKA “Donna goes for a Colonoscopy.”

At the end of August I was diagnosed with anemia. My red blood cell count was so low that I was close to needing a blood transfusion. Immediately, the doctor put me on iron supplements 325mg three times a day, which is equivalent to 1083% of the RDA.

My primary physician referred me to a hematologist. The iron supplements aided in increasing my red blood cell count, but the question as to why I became so anemic so quickly still remained.

The hematologist ordered a long list of blood tests. I found out that more tests equal a greater amount of blood drawn from my body.

One cause of unexplained anemia is a condition called Celiac Disease, which is a digestive disorder that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have Celiac Disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein in wheat, rye, and barley.

I began thinking about all of the things I would have to stop eating...peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cereal, animal crackers, pizza, beer...beer! Without delay, I was online to see if gluten free beer exists, which it does, but I will admit it didn’t sound very appealing.

The good news is that I tested negative for the condition. The bad news was that we now needed to explore other avenues for the cause. Enter the Cooper Digestive Health Institute.

The way I understand it is that my anemia is the result of bleeding somewhere in my body and that my colon is the first place they need to check. The way they do this is by performing a colonoscopy.

If you don’t know what that is or if you kinda know what it is but not in much detail then I am about to do a great service for you.

About two weeks ago I was informed that the FDA recalled Fleet Phospho-Soda, the bowel prep I needed to take the day before my procedure. Apparently there are some serious side effects including destruction of the kidneys, but the nurse told me they had been using it forever and that I had the option of taking that or having something prescribed.

I decided to live life on the edge an opted out of the prescription. The day before my bowel prep party I could not find the product anywhere. It had been pulled from the shelves so that warning labels could be applied. Fortunately the on call doctor prescribed me something called HalfLytely.

The directions were fairly simple. Take two laxatives in the morning and then wait until you poop. Then, select the flavor packet of your choice (pineapple, line, orange or cherry) and add it to the container.

Fill the container with half a gallon of water and drink 8 ounces every ten minutes until the solution, which tastes like salt water, is gone. Ten minutes is just enough time to finish on the toilet before it’s time for the next glass. I spent the next several hours on the toilet.

The entire day I was only allowed to consume clear liquids and Jell-O. I polished off four boxes of Jell-O (8 cups) and two and a half boxes (10 cups) of chicken broth. Let me tell you, it didn’t do much for my appetite.

After midnight I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything, which wouldn’t have been bad if I had an appointment in the morning, but mine was not until 12:30 in the afternoon.

When I met the doctor she told me that the worst part was already behind me (no pun intended). She was right, although I wouldn’t classify having a stranger stick a camera up my ass while I’m unconscious as a completely comfortable experience. The nurse hooked me up to a heart rate monitor, oxygen and stuck an IV in my arm. I felt warm and fuzzy and then I woke up.

A few minutes later, the doctor appeared with lovely snapshots of my colon, which I took home as a souvenir.  

57 varieties

The slogan on a bottle of Heinz Ketchup reads “57 Varieties.” I have always wondered what that meant. Most of the time the thought has crossed my mind while out at a restaurant and I forgot about it half way through my fries. But this week was different. Not only did I remember, but also I have decided to share this information with you. If anything, it makes for a good conversation piece.

 

What does the "57" stand for in Heinz’s famous slogan, "57 Varieties?"

 

While riding a train in New York City in 1896, Henry Heinz saw a sign advertising 21 styles of shoes, which he thought was clever. Although Heinz was manufacturing more than 60 products at the time, Henry thought 57 was a lucky number. So, he began using the slogan "57 Varieties" in all his advertising. Today the company has more than 5,700 products around the globe, but still uses the magic number of "57."

 

 

And while I’m writing I thought I’d use this as an opportunity to plug my new favorite word, which I encourage you to use with frequency.

Flossin

1. Showing off an object in which usually possesses great value.

 eg: Flossin my grill like a dentist

 

2. Rolling in a fine ride with the general intent to enjoy ostentation, prestige.

 eg: Once my Brabus dubs show up, I'll be flossin with the S class like it ain't no thang

 

3. Showing off

 eg: Look at homeboy flossin his ice wanksta

pay it forward

The expression "pay it forward" is used to describe the concept of third party beneficiary in which a creditor offers the debtor the option of "paying" the debt forward by lending it to a third person instead of paying it back to the original creditor. Debt and payments can be monetary or by good deeds. 

I've sat with this one for a while. Usually when I write I try to keep things on the light side, but that's not where I am right now.

Eight years ago I moved back here from a place that very much felt like home to me for two reasons. The first was little boy, just shy of his third birthday. I wanted to be a strong positive influence in his life and to watch him grow. The second was my grandmother (mom-mom) who was 85 and in declining health.

I will spare you the details of the time that has elapsed since then.

If you read my blog about the Chicken Sandwich you know that last year my mom-mom moved into a long term care facility (the nice name for nursing home).

Two weeks ago she was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. As thanksgiving approached it was evident that she would not be at dinner. It just didn't seem right. So, when the turkey and all the trimmings were ready I had my mom make a plate of food and I took it to her in the hospital.

I can't explain the feeling I had that evening, just the two of us, me listening to her critique every bite I fed her. The turkey was good this year, but the rice pudding wasn't soft enough. Those raisins needed to soak a little longer.

Extended time in the hospital can do a lot to break a person's spirit. Medications that help one condition make another worse and in her case, create new problems all together. I have often wondered if it is worse to lose your mind and have your body or to be like her, having mind, but failing body, pain, an awareness of pain, an awareness of the inability to do even the simple things.

Tonight I took the chicken sandwich to her again, but she couldn't chew it. It is finally setting in. I am ok with that and I think she is too.

The past year and a half has been rough. My family has done everything possible to make things more comfortable for her. They are things that are done without having to think twice. They are automatic.

At certain times in my life, my kind actions have been called into question.

I think there are many skeptics out there who have a difficult time believing that there are people who do kind deeds without seeking anything in return.

To those people I offer another way to look at the situation.

Maybe they don't want anything out of it.

Maybe they aren't doing it to prevent something bad from happening to them in the future.

Maybe they are doing it because something good has happened to them.

Maybe they are just paying it forward.

letting go

The thing about sharing your story with other people is that when you do you are letting go a little piece of yourself. I have held on to these for a long time. If you know me well enough then it's very likely that you've either been a part of these or have already heard them, but they are two of my favorites.

 

I was on the crew team in college. While everyone else was sipping fruity drinks on the beach we were spending our spring break rowing doubles on the Schuylkill River. There isn't much that's spring like at 5AM in March. My teammate and I decided to reward our hard work with tattoos. We scheduled appointments in between practices at a place that was on the Main Line, about half an hour from campus.

 

My nerves back then weren't quite as strong as they are today. I remember many tense moments in the bathroom before races or the dreaded erg test. During the ride out to the tattoo shop I began to feel not so great. My stomach was churning and I broke into a cold sweat. I asked my friend who was driving to get me to the nearest bathroom immediately. Unfortunately, that happened to be our final destination. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

 

Moments later, two men arrived on motorcycles. They were the owners of the shop. We were the first customers of the day. We followed them into the shop and sat down. They instructed us to wait a few moments while they prepared. I thought that this was the ideal time to use the toilet. A few minutes later I felt much better, that was until one of the men emerged from the back room and headed toward the bathroom with an empty coffee pot.

 

"Whoa! Man! What is that smell?" the he exclaimed, "It smells like someone stepped in something." He then instructed us to check the bottom of our shoes, while he did the same. Keep in mind at this point, neither of the men knew that I had used the facilities.He called to his brother in the back room, "Hey man, what did you do? It smells like something died in here."  The other man came out to the spot where we had all convened. "I didn't do anything. Man, it sure smells rotten in here!" I looked at him and said "Oh yeah, sure you didn't" and we all started to laugh. Fortunately, my friend kept our secret. An hour or so later we both left with our first tattoos.

 

 

Unsurprisingly, my second story involves the use of the bathroom as well…

 

During my first semester of grad school at temple I enrolled in a class called developmental disabilities. One of the assignments involved a mentoring project. The class was divided into groups of three students. Each group was assigned a mentor, a person with a developmental disability, who would help the group plan an activity.

 

Our mentor (let's call her Joan) could not attend the first ice breaker/mixer gathering. We were given her phone number and instructed to schedule a get together somewhere on campus. We decided to meet at the Starbucks on campus one evening after work. Joan rolled in slightly after 5pm and greeted Carolyn, Maria and myself. She said that she hadn't eaten dinner yet and asked if we could move the meeting next door to Wendy's. We all agreed and packed up our things. I needed to use the restroom so I told them I would catch up with them in a minute. Joan informed me that she had to go as well and so she followed me down the hall, explaining that the medications she was taking made her have use the bathroom frequently.

 

There were two stalls. I slipped into the regular stall and Joan navigated her power wheelchair into the handicapped one. I was out quickly, washed my hands and waited for Joan who chatting up a storm. Suddenly, the conversation stopped. The next thing I heard was "There's no TP in here and I just took a giant shit!" No problem, I thought to myself as I grabbed a wad from the other stall and attempted to hand it under the door. She couldn't reach. I tried again, this time standing on the toilet and handing it over the door. She couldn't reach. She told me I would have to come in and hand it to her. Fabulous, I met this woman less than five minutes ago. I slowly backed in and handed it to her. A few seconds later she resumed her story right where she had left off, only to have it interrupted by another moment of silence, pause and "More TP please." Several minutes later the experience was over and we resurfaced at the Wendy's. My classmates had wondered where we'd disappeared to for so long and trust me, they got an earful at the end of the night.