right for right now

A little over a month ago I put my life on a diet. My lifestyle isn’t excessive by any stretch of the imagination. I do my best to adhere to the principles of minimalism, but am always looking for ways to improve.

From an emotional standpoint, I knew that February was going to be a rough month. That, combined with the feeling of being pulled in several opposing directions, prompted a little bit of “inventory control” on my part.

On the first day of my “diet” I met up with an old friend for lunch. The next day was spent with a friend from college who recently had a baby. Later in the week, I met a friend for coffee on her lunch break. You can facebook, tweet and text all you want, it might be quicker or more convenient, but there is no substitute for human interaction.

I committed myself to practicing Bikram yoga three days a week. I am learning, slowly, to embrace the stillness of a posture and to breathe during difficult situations.

I stopped carrying my phone everywhere. There is nothing so important that it can’t wait an hour or two.

I started taking my dog for longer walks. This winter served as a wake up call that she isn’t getting any younger. We are both benefiting from the extra miles.

What I have learned through this process is that, like with most things in life, there are trade offs. I have become more in tune with myself, but it has come at the expense of becoming somewhat disconnected from others who rely too heavily on social media to keep in touch.

And so, the onus falls on me, to strike that balance between staying true to myself and indulging in the world of others, a world in which I am not so fond of, a world in which I feel slightly out of place.

chit chat

D: I think I would like to wear a fairy costume. Do they make them in my size?

N: I betcha would look darling in one...curious what color fairy would you like?

D: I would be a baby blue fairy with silver sparkles.

N: Tights or bare legs?

D: Bare...I work hard for these legs!

N: With glitter and oil, ok ya!!

D: Totes. I want a wand that has a star at the end of it and it flashes...I have not yet determined the song it will play.

N: Flashes all colors or certain ones? And would it be instrumental music or with voice?

D: It would flash all colors, to the beat of the song that has yet to be determined...just instrumental, no voice...currently it is a toss up between the Chariots of Fire theme song, Flash Dance and It’s a Small World.

N: Haha...Chariots of Fire...yes! Perhaps you should have all three...that way you have more choices per mood. Question...What color tutu? What about footwear? Shoes, thongs?

D: My tutu would be white with silver sparkles and on my feet...Vibram Five Fingers, blue.

N: Multi-purpose shoes. Good investment...

D: Close. Obviously the shoes would be different and I’m not sure about the head band. Also I wouldn’t look that slutty.

N: I think I will start fairying, DAYMNUMN!!!

D: You know, there’s a name for people who look at that sorta stuff.

N: I looked up baby blue fairy in Google search...That was in the 5^th page...Soooo...I think I would pay to see you dress up in your fairy outfit.

D: I would totally do it for free!

N: Really?!!! Oh my god...I just got that feeling of Christmas morning.

D: Once again, there’s a name for people like that.

Uzu

Best sushi in Philly...

Random Philly Finds Part I

Sidewalk Prophets

A friend of mine from Boston is visiting Philadelphia for a few days. Last night we went to dinner in Old City. It was a nice evening so we decided to walk the 20+ blocks back home. No more than five minutes into our walk, a man, sitting on the step of an abandoned building called out to us as we passed by. “Is there a thin line between love and hate?” he asked.I don’t quite remember what I said in response, but it started a conversation between us. Immediately, I was drawn in by this man’s eyes, the passion with which he spoke and the intensity in his demeanor. It wasn’t what he said so much as the way in which he said it.

When he finished speaking he asked us for spare change, what he considered “compensation” for sharing his story. I handed him what I had in my pocket, which wasn’t enough for the slice of pizza he was seeking. I told him we could walk down to the pizza place and I’d buy him a slice. As we were walking, we passed another restaurant. His eyes lit up when he said, “That place has the best ribs. Have you ever had them?” To which I replied,” No, but if what you really want is ribs, then let’s go in and I’ll buy you take out.” So, Natasha, Curtis, his associate (who had a wheeled suitcase) and I went into “Q BBQ & Tequila” and placed a to go order at the bar.

While we were waiting, Curtis continued talk about his life, where he had been, what he had done and how he lost it all. In all honesty, I don’t know how much of his story was true and it didn’t really matter to me because the message he was trying to convey was valid. It struck a chord in me. These are the moments in life that I cherish the most, these chance meetings with strangers, people you have never met, yet they somehow “know” your story.

When the order was ready, we left the restaurant and walked down Chestnut Street. Curtis accompanied us for four blocks to the Liberty Bell, and then we parted ways. Before he left, he showed us a “secret handshake” that the people on the streets use. Our paths may never cross again, but I am thankful for this encounter and humbled, knowing that a short order of ribs wasn’t exactly a fair trade for the lesson he taught me.

Riley's Jams

She could stand here for hours...

sold

Several years ago, I got involved with an investment property. It turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The financial burdens of this “partnership” fell completely on me. I spent the better part of three years being very unhappy about the way things had unfolded, knowing that there was little that I could do to remedy the situation.

Then one evening I received a call that my “partner” was in jail. About a week later, the building was on the market. It sat for a year and a half with only a handful of very low offers. Last week a suitable offer was made and the agreement of sale contract was signed.

In less than a month, a HUGE weight will be off my shoulders. The people who I am closest to know the negative impact that this has had on my life. I am truly thankful for their support over the years. It was a learning experience, one that I will not soon forget.

D173

In six months, this will be my backyard for the week...

one year removed

And in the blink of an eye, a year has passed...

It’s been one year since I lost my best friend.

I’ve read a few news stories recently about dogs refusing to leave their owner’s grave. Most days I feel like those dogs. It’s not a longing for the past. It’s not a refusal to move forward. It’s more a function of feeling suspended in time.

just a man

I have a love-hate relationship with the city (Philadelphia). It’s dirty, crowded and people are rude, but it’s also overflowing with culture and what I like to refer to as “learning opportunities.”

Several years ago, a friend of mine came to visit from Maryland for the first time. A man who grabbed his balls with one hand and flipped off a car with the other as he was crossing the street at 10th and Walnut properly initiated her.

That’s Philadelphia.

My own struggle is rooted in having worked in the dirtiest, poorest parts of the city for the past decade. These are the places where, for many young men, hope is just hoping to make it until their twenty-first birthdays.

I’ve tried to counter balance this by making an effort to have positive experiences in the city. At least once a week I will go to a park, coffee shop or even just walk the streets in one of my favorite neighborhoods to soak it all in.

Recently, my friend and I were at a bar and started talking to man who was sitting by himself. He had recently moved here from the Boston area. Prior to that he had lived in a few other big cities, but he liked Philadelphia the best. He said that living here was the first time he felt like people treated him like just a man, instead of a black man.

That’s Philadelphia.

the last day of our acquaintance

It was the last day of our acquaintance. I didn’t know it at the time. We walked home from dinner, holding hands. You took me to the living room, where a wrapped present was waiting for me. I squeezed you tight and thanked you, looking forward to using my new snowshoes with you...but that never happened. I will always wonder what would have happened if it didn’t rain that weekend.

And within a week I was tossed to the curb like garbage.

One year later, the scene still plays in my mind.

The most difficult part is the lingering feeling that the one person I cared about more than anything else in the world gave up on me. It is bittersweet to see the changes that have occurred in my life because they cannot be shared with her. I want so badly for her to know that I am the person I always knew that I could be, it just took a little bit of time to get there.

double tall mocha no whipped

I have about $40 in Starbucks gift cards sitting in my desk drawer. Yesterday, I decided to put them to good use by trying a high end coffee beverage for the first time. I stared at the menu for a few minutes before deciding on a mocha. For seventy five cents I could get an extra shot of espresso. Perfect! I approached the counter and ordered a small mocha with an extra shot of espresso. The lady at the counter informed me that it already comes with one shot. Acting as if I already knew this I said "I know, but I want two." She asked if I wanted whipped cream. I declined and handed her my gift card. Then, my order was broadcast for all of Starbucks to hear "double tall mocha, no whipped."

I always thought it was kinda obnoxious that Starbucks needed special names for "small, medium and large." Today I went back for another fancy coffee drink. This time I tried to use Starbucks lingo and ordered a "Grande Americano." It didn't sound right, at least not coming from my mouth.

back to 2005

A couple months ago I purchased an iPhone. My Samsung flip phone, which I affectionately referred to as “2005” stopped working. Being my first “smart phone” the iPhone has been fairly easy to use and I transitioned to the touch screen without a problem.

I can’t say that owning a phone with a data plan has made my life infinitely better. In fact, I think I’m worse off, which is why I have chosen to ditch my iPhone for an old, used flip phone.