looks can be deceiving

I was looking at a picture of my brother and I that was taken in August of 2012. We spent ten days hiking and camping in Glacier National Park. 

Three months later he had an emergency appendectomy. The biopsy results indicated cancer. 

Two weeks ago his mother-in-law was visiting my family. She and her husband joined my parents for a day trip to Valley Forge. They walked the entire day. When they returned to their home in Texas she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

They looked healthy. They were active. There were no warming signs, no indication. It has me rethinking the concepts of health and wellness. 

When it comes to diet and exercise, I do the best I can to take care of myself..sometimes to my own detriment...but never to the point of deprivation. I will always save room dessert. Sometimes, I will even order it first. 

Just a reminder that’s it’s ok to indulge from time to time because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Pemi Loop: putting it all together

I’m grateful for having two spectacular days to experience this hike without restrictions. While doing the entire loop in one day is feasible, it doesn’t afford you the opportunity to truly appreciate your surroundings.

This is my second long overnight hike in the White Mountains. For me, solo hiking has become a necessity...it is a cleansing experience...it allows me to recharge my batteries...it tests my limits, both  mentally and physically...it is spiritual...most of all, it provides the perfect balance between soul searching and (re)defining who I am.

"I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out til sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in"

- John Muir

Pemi Loop: day two

I was in and out of sleep all night. The man in the bunk above me snored so violently, it rendered earplugs useless. 

At 5:30am I grabbed my stuff and went to the common area. My water reservoir took a leak into my pack over night...about half a liter was sitting in the bottom of my bag, which was (not) awesome. 

After a bad cup of coffee I made my way back up to Lafayette. The next “segment” of my hike would be from Lafayette to Galehead Hut. It was about six and a half miles. I expected it to take four hours. 

Pointless ups and downs...I remember that phrase being used when reading about the Pemi loop. This is where I felt it the most. 

I filled up my water at Galehead, had a snack and prepared for the steepest section of the trail which gained about 1100 feet in .8 miles...it was pretty much a straight climb up to South Twin, but from there it leveled off and was quite pleasant. 

Next up...The Bonds, which are what I had been looking forward to the most. The 360 degree views at this point were absolutely breathtaking...clear skies, the perfect temperature and very little wind...this is where I took the time to soak it all in. 

From Bondcliff it was a gradual descent to the Wilderness Trail and then back on the Lincoln Woods Trail. Once below the tree line, I wasn’t sure how many miles I needed to walk to complete the hike. I still don’t know how many miles it was, but I can tell you that it was “ a lot” and that the weird lady who gave me “Finding Dory” graham crackers with three miles to go put a smile on my face until I got to the parking lot and discovered that I had lost my wallet (again).

Pemi Loop: day one

I planned to do this hike last Fall and got rained out. It was looking like that would be the case again. This trip was originally planned for June 28th and 29th with an overnight stay at Galehead Hut. I watched the forecast deteriorate, read about some recent search and rescue efforts in the Whites and decided to attempt this as a day hike on Friday the 24th. 

When I called the AMC Reservation line to cancel, the representative offered me a Thursday night stay at Greenleaf. It was about a mile off the trail, but the only logical option because it was Wednesday afternoon. I still had to pack and drive to Lincoln. 

4AM wake up call...

After six and a half hours in the car, I was eager to stretch my legs and maintained a good pace for the first three miles...then the up hill party started (about 2,000 feet gain over the next two miles). I tagged Mt. Flume, Liberty, Lincoln and Lafayette...ten and a half miles in four hours and twenty minutes, which allowed me some time to relax and take it in before heading down to Greenleaf Hut.

On the descent, I began to question my decision, wondering if it would have been better to have made the six mile push for Galehead, which sits right on the ridge, instead adding two miles (1,000 feet down and then back up) to this thirty-three mile hike. 

The view from Sunset Rock was worth it...

purpose

The reason I kept writing is because you kept reading. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't.

I've gone from a holding pattern to autopilot to full speed ahead and back again. My mind has raced and taken me to places I'm not yet ready to go.

Coming back here reminds me to take one day at a time.

next up...

The Pemi Loop Hike

By the time this posts I'll be halfway to Lincoln, NH. My plan is to arrive by Noon and hit the trail for an eleven mile run up to the AMC Greenleaf Hut where I'll spend the night. Friday I will complete the loop, a total of (roughly) 32 miles with 10,000 feet elevation gain.

I'm looking forward to clear skies and light winds. To be continued...




"as soon as i saw you i knew an adventure was going to happen" 
- winnie the pooh

rewind

Whenever I complete a thought I refer back to previous posts with the same labels.

Earlier in the week I was writing something about my old hiking shoes. Keeping it simple and minimalism are common themes that have been present in my life for many years. I expected to see posts referring to my love/hate relationship with technology that has steadily evolved ever since I was one of the last people to own a smart phone.

I did not expect to find this piece, “in the absence of clutter.”

For the past two months I’ve been trying to put my finger on something. Revisiting this thought has help me identify exactly what it is.

Sometimes you have to go back in order to move forward.

nine times out of ten

Nine times out of ten the only thing I hear is “I’m sorry.” I hear it so often that it makes shut down, because I don’t want sympathy...

That was a “to be continued“ thought, started six months ago and now I feel like it’s the right time to finish it.

I was visiting my brother in Austin last weekend. On Saturday night I went to the Congress Avenue Bridge to watch the bats. On Sunday morning when I woke up and turned on my phone there were a couple text messages from my cousin and a voicemail from the (512) area code. It was then that I learned that I had lost my wallet on Saturday evening. The woman who found it was trying to get in touch with me via Facebook. When I did not respond, she reached out to my cousin, who gave her my contact information.

I made arrangements to pick it up and was on my way to a suburb, about twenty miles North of Austin. When I arrived, we stood at the door and made small talk. She knew that I was from out of town and I explained that I was visiting my brother. She asked about him and I told her about his diagnosis. She responded with a very personal story about her mother and told me that she would pray for him.

I thanked her and offered her some cash (reward) as a token of my appreciation for finding the wallet. She declined and told me to do something nice for someone else.

One time out of ten I am met with empathy and that makes the other nine worth enduring.

miles of smiles

The process of simplifying my life is ongoing. It resonates through everything from the purchases I make to the company I keep.

Lately, the clutter has been more mental than physical.

I read an article a couple years ago that suggested taking photographs of sentimental items rather than holding onto them. Last month I let go of a couple pairs of trail shoes. They were full of miles and memories, but no longer served a purpose.

If only it was so easy to declutter the mind.

stones

I’ve found a decent balance between giving and taking. Lately, I feel like it’s not so much that I am giving more to others BUT they are taking more from me.

Working in an industry where you provide a service can be draining at times. I nod and smile as they tell me about their struggles, reminding myself that what I have experienced in my life is vastly different than the experiences of the people I encounter on a daily basis. 

"Most people are on the world, not in it- have no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them- undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate." - John Muir

no peace

Maybe it’s the fact that you live nearly 1700 miles away and I don’t have the financial resources to fly out for a visit as often as I’d like.

Or it could be the times when I can tell that mom is sad and the only thing I can do is give her a hug. I wish I could tell her that everything is going to be ok. 

There is the anxious moment when your name comes up on the caller ID and the room becomes quiet...and the silence that remains as I try to listen in on the conversation.

There is no peace in pain. There is no peace in worry or sadness.

The place where you are right now is much different than the one you were in four months ago, but the place where I am has not changed. No peace. No peace.

I want to watch the waning rays of light in silence. To leave the words behind with the setting of the sun. To wonder at the stars and the stillness of the night. That is where it feels effortless.

distance

Every other Friday I take the PATCO to Philadelphia. While waiting underground for the return trip, there is no cell phone service. 

Yesterday I used that time to page through some of the old photos on my phone. It’s a good opportunity to delete some of them and free up storage space. 

I came across a screen shot of this quote by Robert Morgan...Distance not only gives nostalgia, but perspective and maybe objectivity.

I’d venture to say that one could say the same thing about the passage of time.