subtraction

Occasionally, I need to access the printer which is located in my dad’s office. His desk is an absolute mess, littered with piles, papers and notes. 

The one that caught my eye most recently was his “daily schedule” which includes exercise, reading and meditation. It seems as though he is trying to incorporate some healthy practices into his life. That is admirable. What I don’t think he realizes is that well being is all about finding a balance. 

You can add a million positive things to your life but if you don't remove the negative ones you'll continue to spin your wheels.

The April Experiment

After reading about the benefits of cold showers I took the leap on January 1st. Three months have passed, unwavered...I still use nothing but cold water.

This month I decided to try intermittent fasting. My morning cardio is done in a fasted state so all I had to do was extend that a few more hours. How difficult could it be? Plenty difficult when your gym buddy shows up with a bakery bag containing a gorgeous Bismarck!

Yesterday was day one. Friday tends to be a busy day for me so the morning went by without a hitch. It was Noon before I knew it and the “feeding window” had opened. My initial game plan is to eat three meals (Noon, 4pm and 8pm) of equal caloric value. At 8pm the window closes.

There is a clear link between these two experiments. For most people reading this, your lives are filled with an abundance of choices...everything from what you watch, to where you go, what you eat and when you eat it...easily accessible...convenient.

This experiment is not rooted in deprivation, but rather discipline. Only time will tell if it ends or becomes a new way of doing things.

Stay tuned for an update...

shoestring

I love my job. Unfortunately, it doesn’t pay that well. There have been times when I’ve considered looking for something else, but the costs far outweigh the benefits. I cannot put a price tag on my freedom (and the ability to ride my bike to work).

Life has become a series of compromises...learning new ways to get by with less...giving thoughtful consideration to the things I need vs the things I want.

A couple weeks ago my coffee grinder broke. I wanted to buy a fancy new one. Doing so wouldn’t afford me much wiggle room for the remainder of the month, but I went ahead and ordered it anyway. Then, I remembered my Father’s birthday and it was promptly returned. Thankfully, one of my clients at the gym had a used one she no longer needed. That will suit me just fine

I wish I could say that good coffee if overrated, but the truth is that it isn’t.

Maybe next month...

three simple phrases

I haven’t always done the best job at communicating with the people in my life that I care about...but, I have learned some valuable lessons along the way that have helped me fine tune my skills. 

One experience involved watching my aunt interact with my mom-mom in the final months of her life. It was too little, too late...nothing can make up for years of indifference. The other is the journey with my brother that my family has been on for the past four years. 

It started with learning how to say “I love you.” Since then, I’ve learned the importance of three simple phrases. 

It is for this reason I will always say...
“I am sorry” when I am wrong
“Thank you” when I appreciate you
“I love you” and mean it 

I don’t always live life to the fullest, but I do my best to make sure that I live it without regret.

even keel

One of my clients asked me if I was excited about my upcoming vacation to Montana. 

“Not really,” I replied. 
To which she questioned, “Does anything excite you?” 
Again...”Not really” I replied, “I guess I just don’t see the point in getting excited.” 
“Life is all about the hills and the valleys, the highs and the lows,” she said. 

I prefer to stay on an even keel. If you never experience the highs then the lows won’t feel as low. 

Maybe it’s a method of self-preservation; reflective of where I am right now in my life...or maybe I’ve just been on enough roller coasters.

purpose

The reason I kept writing is because you kept reading. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't.

I've gone from a holding pattern to autopilot to full speed ahead and back again. My mind has raced and taken me to places I'm not yet ready to go.

Coming back here reminds me to take one day at a time.

miles of smiles

The process of simplifying my life is ongoing. It resonates through everything from the purchases I make to the company I keep.

Lately, the clutter has been more mental than physical.

I read an article a couple years ago that suggested taking photographs of sentimental items rather than holding onto them. Last month I let go of a couple pairs of trail shoes. They were full of miles and memories, but no longer served a purpose.

If only it was so easy to declutter the mind.

life in the slow lane

I’ve been training at a gym in Moorestown for about two years. Last Spring, I started working with a client who was only available at 8:30am on Tuesday and Thursday. The commute to make it to the gym for an 8:30am appointment is much different than the commute to make it to the gym for a 9:00am appointment. I found myself sitting in a ridiculous amount of traffic on those days. A drive that should take 12 minutes was taking closer to 30 minutes. It wasn’t the lost time which concerned me the most, it was the people I had to encounter during that time. Everyone was in a hurry...aggressive drivers, weaving in and out of traffic, tailgaters, impatience...it left me feeling on edge. That wasn’t how I wanted to start my day.

So I opted for life in the slow lane.

In the mornings, it can actually take less time to ride my bike to Moorestown and I get a workout. It’s win/win situation, except for the fact that I still have vehicles to contend with. The first time I nearly got hit was by an older woman who was making a right hand turn into a doctor’s office. She did not see me and started her turn. I yelled, but she didn’t hear me. Thankfully, her turning skills weren’t that sharp. I had enough time to react and hop the curb into the parking lot. She seemed startled when she saw me. The following week, I was riding in a residential neighborhood. A woman pulled out from a side street with the intention of crossing the road that I was on to get into her driveway. She didn’t see me...me with my bright green kit and matching helmet, yellow back pack and flashing lights...that was a close one! I am thankful for the stopping power of disc brakes. 

Since then it’s been a mixed bag...wanting to go around a car that's making a left hand turn...rolling through a stop sign...attempting to make a left hand turn in front of me. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid getting doored on Kings Highway, but it’s only just a matter of time.

What I’ve determined is that riding my bike to work is no less stressful than driving. In fact, it's even more stressful. In theory, life in the slow lane is a good idea...if only the rest of the world would slow down so I could enjoy it.

Non-Race Report: Town Hall CX

At the first race of the year, I parked my car next to a couple from Boston. The guy asked me if I liked the disc brakes on my CAADX. I said they took some time to get used to. “Oh, are you a roadie or a mountain biker?” he asked. “Neither” I said, “I am a runner.”

I woke up before my alarm went off this morning. There was a pibble who needed walking before I drove to Bethlehem for Town Hall Cross. A beautiful morning was unfolding. I thought about the three plus hours I’d be spending in the car today, just to race my bike for forty minutes.

When I got home I put on my sneaks and went for a run. I kept running. I ran right past the time I was supposed to leave for the race. At the end of last season I promised myself I wouldn’t miss these magnificent Fall days because I was trapped in a car traveling to a race. Fresh air is good for the soul.

Reasonable.

There are words which I have encountered that stay with me...they guide me...they provide me with structure for the way I want to live. 

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." 

I recently shared some good news with family and friends. They were all happy for me, with the exception of one person. Her negative comments caught me off guard. My initial reaction was to counter with some unkind words of my own. Instead, I bit my tongue and delved further into the conversation. It turns out that there was more going on. Those words were a mask for other emotions, ones that would never have been recognized without patience and the understanding that there was a situation with which she was struggling. 

Too frequently, people jump to conclusions. Too frequently, people are on the defensive. It might not be convenient or easy, but next time, give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Salabhasana

Salabhasana (locust pose) is a form of back bend, or spine stretch, using the strength of the upper and middle back to lift the weight of the legs as high as possible from a starting position face down on the floor. Most people find Salabhasana to be a very “strong” i.e. difficult and challenging posture to practice, and as such it not only improves flexibility and coordination, but also has strength and stamina benefits. 

When I began my Bikram Yoga practice two and a half years ago, this was my least favorite of the 26 poses. I found myself fidgeting, repositioning my hands in an attempt to buy myself more time before entering and holding the pose. Then one day, something clicked and “I got it.” It wasn’t necessarily that I made a gradual progression toward that end, it just happened. Now, it is the one that I enjoy the most. 

This experience has helped me draw parallels to other areas of my life. It has made me realize the times when I closed myself off to people, things and situations because they were unfamiliar. Sometimes, the unknown can be frightening, it can be challenging...but that is not a good reason to dislike it, nor is it an excuse to walk away from it.

in the absence of clutter

the bond that i am the most proud of was formed in the absence of clutter

there was no tv 

there was no internet

it was in a time before the smart phone could remove you from the present moment with the touch of a button

without distraction, our intentions were focused solely on each other

it was stronger than ones formed in any other fashion, 

but that's not to say that the bond could not be broken (which it was)

but it is to say that it had more value 

and i took that lesson with me from the pieces that were left

and i have tried to use them to replicate it

but it hasn't worked

because every time we're in the car, someone turns on the radio

because every time we're having coffee, the phone is on the table

silence must be frightening

i prefer to live without the clutter

the things you think you need

Sometimes, life teaches us painful lessons. The past year and a half has felt like a never-ending learning experience. I’ve grown, changed and come to understand the difference between what I really need and what I think I need.

Nowhere else has this become more apparent to me than on the trail. Whenever I feel like I am losing sight of what really matters, I make it a point to take a walk in the woods.

Last night I was packing for a camping trip in Montana. It is the third time I have prepared for a trip of this nature. Each time, I’ve brought less with me. Miles and miles of walking, alone...miles and miles of thinking...miles and miles of drifting off into the beauty that surrounds me has taught me so much about the things I really need.