memory lane

I’m listening to the Frank Sinatra Christmas Album. I remember playing the CD at our Christmas Eve open house, long before music could be streamed on sites like Pandora. My brother took a liking to it, which meant that during the month of December I’d routinely go hunting for it in his room. Christmas was his favorite holiday. 

This year seems to be a bit easier on my Mom. A couple weeks ago we took PATCO to Philly and saw the light show at Macy’s. The house is decorated a little bit. She even asked my dad to put up some lights outside. He declined, which leads me to believe that he is struggling right now. 

I am starting to realize that new people will constantly enter my life, unaware. This could result in awkwardness when asked about my holiday. It has become just another day. 

Today I was thinking about the holiday visits we would make to relatives during the week between Christmas and New Years. My brother and I always dreaded visiting my Father’s Aunt and Uncle. Their house was so boring, but they always gave us a crisp ten dollar bill, which made it worth it. The year we both received a Game Boy definitely made that visit much easier. 

The thing that I am the most sad about this year is that I don’t have anyone to reminisce with about these things. The thing that I am the most thankful for this year is that I have these memories, even if I can no longer share them with him.

suck it up buttercup

On January 1st of this year I began using exclusively cold water when showering. I wasn’t sure how long this would last. Starting during the cold winter months wasn’t exactly the best timing for this experiment. Yet, I persevered and have stuck with it for almost an entire year.

When I turn on the shower there are no surprises. I know that the water is going to be ice cold. I know that I have no choice but to embrace the chill. Skirting around the edges, dipping in my toe only delays the inevitable. It is best to dive in, head first, to immerse myself in the freezing water.

It has been an exercise in mental toughness. I don’t know how else to explain it. The benefit has been most noticeable on the days when I don’t feel like fulfilling my (personal and/or work related) responsibilities. This time last year I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Now, it isn’t even an option.