Last weekend I was at the Delaware Water Gap to hike Mt. Tammany, then on to Sunfish Pond. It has become an annual event. This year was a little different because I had company on the trail.
It has been an oddly pleasant (and at times unpleasant) transition for me over the past few months. I have become so accustomed to doing everything on my own that my independence (some people call it stubbornness) feels threatened at times by even the smallest gestures (like offering to help carry a bag).
I lost more than I could ever imagine being able to sustain. It hurt for a long time. It still hurts. Out of everything I lost came a renewed sense of self. The place where I stand today has been two years in the making. My biggest fear is sharing that with someone who might only be in my life temporarily.
Partnerships involve compromise. At some point I’ll need to accept a helping hand. I just need to figure out how to do that without feeling like my independence is being threatened.
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