these rocks in my pocket

Putting rocks on gravestones is most often described as a Jewish custom. In former days one did not mark a grave with marble or granite with a fancy inscription, but one made a cairn of stones over it. Each mourner coming and adding a stone was effectively taking part in the Mitzvah of Matzevah ("setting a stone") as well as or instead of Levayat ha-Meyt ("accompany the dead").

There are many "Ask a Rabbi" columns out there, but I did not find one that knew for sure where the custom originated. They all agreed, however, that a rock symbolized a visitor and when put on a tombstone said, "I remember you."

I have made a practice of picking up a rock whenever I hike somewhere new. These rocks sit in a special place and I take one with me when I visit the cemetery. My mom-mom never had the opportunity to travel, but always took an interest in the places I had visited. The rocks are my way of sharing with her, the places I’ve been.

There was only one person who I wanted to accompany me to the diner on my birthday this year. And, since that wasn’t possible, I got my breakfast for dinner and a root beer float to go. I drove to the cemetery and set out a blanket. I ate and drank and left a rock from my recent trip to Mount Katahdin.