Caffeinated CX

When it comes to racing, I have found myself walking a fine line on more than one occasion since my brother’s diagnosis two years ago. Racing has either served as a distraction OR I have been too distracted to race. I walked that line this weekend. 

I was up at 6am and on my way to work registration. After a pre-ride I scratched the idea of riding my mountain bike. The clay run up was way too steep and that bike was too heavy to carry. 

This was the third year for Caffeinated CX. I did not race the previous two years. It looked as if this year would be no different. My mind was not in the right place. There is a lot of anger inside me right now. Far too many times I have been met with the response “I’m sorry” and it has only made it worse. It has made it worse to the point where I just shut down and sat with my anger. 

I saw a couple friends at the race who made me feel a little bit better...people who understand what is going on...people who will be real with me. 

I got my number and pinned it on. Maybe racing will help. 

So I did...and I did it for no reason other than to forget life for 45 minutes...and it helped. 

I ride for an amazing bike shop. My teammates are all great guys. The friends I have made racing cx for the past three years are genuinely good people.

Gratitude