letter to no one

It is finally over.

In all honestly, I never imagined that things would go down the way they did, not only losing my best friend, but all of the nastiness that followed. I never intended for any of this to happen. It’s just not who I am.

The truth of the matter is that I didn’t even show up on June 22nd. I never envisioned it going that far. All I wanted was to make sure that things would be in order for June 1st. That seemed to have been taken care of on the 31st of May. I don’t know why it was drawn out for another month.

I never wanted your money. I still don’t. All I wanted was to make sure that this would be over with so I could try to move on with my life. Those four months were a living nightmare for me. Every single day was a struggle. It still is.

It was my decision not to show up on the 22nd. It was my decision to write that check. And, while my choices weren’t understood or supported by many of the people in my life, they were mine to make.

There is not one person that I could share this with that I think would understand. That is why I am writing this letter to no one.