call it what you will

Over the holidays, I had a conversation with a friend of mine about the concept of “New Year’s Resolutions.”

It seems as if people need some sort of marker in order for them to bring about changes in their own lives: I am pregnant so I am going to quit smoking; My child was born so I am going to start saving more money; I had a heart attack so I am going to start eating healthier; My New Year’s resolution is to...

What is it about January 1st that makes you want to lose weight? Is it any different than July 7th or March 25th?

I resolved a long time ago to NOT have New Year’s resolutions at all. I am continually striving to make improvements in my own life to become a more balanced individual. I don’t need an event or a day to prompt me to make changes.

Ho, Ho, HO-tto!

Season's greetings from Otto...

'tis the season (the remix)

I had every intention of writing a succinctly stellar blog this holiday season. The ideas were abundant, however finding proper photographic representation to accompany those ideas was problematic.

Inflatables are somewhat illusive creatures. For the most part, they’re only out after dark, which makes them difficult to photograph.

During the day time you will find what I refer to as “inflatables gone wild” strewn across lawns, fences or even rooftops as if they’d been out partying all night long.



The first blog I wrote on this subject was in 2005. I followed it up with another in 2006. Since then, it seems as if inflatable decorations have taken over just about every lawn in South Jersey.

I find entertainment in the randomness. People don’t seem to mind that their inflatables have absolutely no relation at all to one another.

Here is Santa and the Grinch, along with Yo Gabba Gabba...Yo What? Yeah, I had to “google” it...it’s a TV show on Nick Jr.

This lawn presents us with the perfect combination of secular and non-secular...


I've decided that the old school, plastic light up lawn ornaments are superior to inflatables...the deciding factor being that you can totally keep plastic light up baby Jesus out of the nativity until Christmas day...this is just not possibly with the inflatable nativity.

meow!

I am trying to decide what is more disturbing...the fact that someone created this t-shirt...the fact that there are people out there who will purchase it...the fact that there are people out there who will actually wear it.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

I have conceded to the fact that, whether I like it or not, Christmas is going to happen this year.

I fought off the ghost of Christmas past for as long as I could. Last night, the memories began to haunt me. Whether it is “normal” or not, I find myself thinking about last Christmas...where I was, what I was doing and most importantly, who I was with.

It’s no secret that for the past ten months I’ve struggled with the loss of my best friend. The holidays are a time of celebration, but I’d venture to say that for many people, they are also a time of sadness.

No matter how many parties I attend, no matter how much time I spend with family and friends, the feeling of emptiness is still present. The void cannot be filled by gifts, cookies or laughter.

There is a difference between loneliness and being alone.

I came across a quote today, “Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you.” Some day, I will arrive at that end. For now, I appreciate those words and the knowledge that it is happening at my own pace.

Sh!t Happens

Sometimes, there’s no other way to put it. Sometimes, there’s no better way to explain it.

I’ve come to this conclusion over the past year while dealing with a fairly significant personal issue. It was the greatest loss I’ve encountered in my life thus far. I sat with it for months; trying to understand it. I was logical. I was irrational. I was emotional. I leaned on family and friends for support. They listened (repeatedly), they offered advice, but the best conclusion I was able to come to, put simply “shit happens.”

People are always looking for reasons why bad things happen to them. They search for explanations, “Everything happens for a reason.” Really? If someone said that to me, I’d be rendered speechless and walk away. That might offer someone temporary comfort. Personally, I’d prefer to hear that sometimes, bad things happen for absolutely no reason at all. Sometimes, shit happens.

“To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.”

- Oscar Wilde

Thomas Kinkade Sucks

Recently, I spent the weekend at a cabin in New Hampshire. There was an oil painting on one of the cabin walls. It sucked. It sucked so bad that I can only suspect that the artist signed only his first name for that reason.

It got me thinking about Thomas Kinkade and how bad his art sucks. I decided to write a blog about it. I googled “Thomas Kinkade sucks” and found out that I was not alone. In fact, there are many people who dislike him so much that they’ve created websites and message forums to discuss how bad he sucks.

Here are a few of my favorites:

When he paints one of his monstrosities filled with little lit-up cottages, cobblestone paths, lighthouses, spilling gardens, country churches, and other nausea-producing crap, does he step back and think: "Wow. I am Matisse's peer!" or does he think: "Here's another steaming pile that the dumb Parade-magazine reading masses will buy ... Bwa ha ha!"

Here's Thomas drunk with his friends: "My shit's sold at Avon parties man. You know how many people go to those things? I got work in half the homes in America. How many homes does Picasso hang in? I rest my case." He has to think this way or else he will be crushed by his own crapitude.

It sucks a lot. It could suck a basketball through a garden hose; it could suck-start a B-52 in Fairbanks in January. Its suckingness is comparable to that of Precious Moments figurines. But then, what do I know about Art?

Like all great art, that piece is inspired, and brings up feelings in myself I never knew I had. Feelings like, like, I want to throw myself in front of a tarring machine on the freeway, or like, I wish I had never been born, or, like Oedipus, I want to gouge out my own eyes.

on altruism

Most days, I like animals more than people...

There have been times when kindness was extended to me by someone else, merely as a means to an end (to benefit them). There have been times when my kindness has been called into question. When these things happen I begin to question the nature of altruism. I begin to ask myself if altruism really exists.

People have become so jaded that they have a difficult time accepting kind gestures. I might even venture to say that it makes them feel a little uncomfortable. Today, I was the recipient of a very kind gesture. I did not refuse it. I did not call it into question. I simply said “thank you.”

"In spite of everything, I still believe that people really are good at heart"

-Anne Frank

both sides now

Mount Tammany is the southernmost peak of the Kittatinny Mountains. It is 1,526 feet tall, and forms the east side of the Delaware Water Gap. Across the Gap is Mount Minsi, on the Pennsylvania side of the river.

I’ve hiked Mount Tammany a handful of times and have always enjoyed the challenge of the trail and the views from the top.


Last weekend, I crossed the Gap to hike Mount Minsi. Standing there, looking at Mount Tammany, I thought...sometimes you can’t fully appreciate the mountain while you’re standing on top of it...sometimes you need to see it from both sides.

thanksgiving

I don’t really follow politics, but I know enough about what’s going on with the “job crisis.” I know it because I have two master’s degrees and couldn’t find a job for a year and a half. And, even now, the jobs I am working are part-time because benefits cost too much for full time employees.

During the last year I have undergone a sort of transformation, a paradigm shift if you will. It was met with some resistance by my rational side, but in the end it was the best thing I could do for my own well being.

When I was younger, I went to school. It was what I did. After college, I got a job. It was what I did. As I grew older, I began noticing the first question most people ask someone is “What do you do?”

It didn’t take me long to realize that, to an extent, our jobs define us. They consume the majority of our day. And so, for ten years I was a researcher...it was what I did...and then, it was gone.

Being unemployed for a year and a half was a struggle, but in all honesty, the emotional strain far outweighed the financial aspect of not having a job. Every time I met someone new and they asked me what I did for a living, it felt like a kick in the gut.

As time passed, I began to drift away from the mindset that work (what I did for a living) was a necessary component of what defines me. My actions, my thoughts, my beliefs are what define me, 24/7, not just from 9 to 5.

And so, during this time of giving thanks, I would like to offer my most sincere gratitude for the people in my life who have stuck by my side during one of the most difficult times in my life. Thank you for your patience, understanding and faith in me...and most importantly, thank you for not giving up on me.


“Be mindful of what you toss away, be careful of what you push away, and think hard before you walk away.”

HOPE

"Love your secrets bottled up, but love them more when you give them up."

I have been carrying a piece of paper in my wallet for almost a year. I call it “hope.”

The words might not have been true. I can only hope that they were. I can only hope that someday, someone, somewhere will feel that way about me.

Until then, I am fine carrying on as I do, every day, holding on to hope.

tangled

They only travel from my gym bag to my ears, yet somehow this always seems to happen.

The Xlerator

I have always been in awe of the magnificent drying power of the Xlerator. It's definitely a treat to find one in a public restroom. Watching the way it moves around the skin on your hands never ceases to amaze me.

DT on the AT: New York

Anytime there is a mild weekend like this in November it’s a bonus.

There are 88 miles of the Appalachian Trail in New York. The trail crosses the Hudson River, entering Harriman-Bear Mountain State Park, where the first section of the A.T. was completed in 1923. Heading south, the trail then passes through the newly protected Sterling Forest.

The loop I hiked was about four miles, climbing Bear Mountain on the Major Welch Trail and descending via the Appalachian Trail.

I was driving to the gym on Friday and looked out of the passenger side window. I watched a hawk fly parallel to me for nearly 200 yards. My first thought was “Wow, that was really sweet!” and my second was “I sure wish I had a camera.”

Later in the day, I worked a private party at the ropes course. There were several parents, armed with cameras, snapping photographs of their children every opportunity they had. It was almost as if they weren’t present, in the moment. They were consumed by taking pictures, in an attempt to preserve the experience.

I thought about the hawk and how, I too am guilty of doing the same thing these people were doing...but for what reason? Some of my favorite memories are ones that were never captured in a picture. Even though they happened years ago, they’re as vivid as if they were yesterday.

So, I hiked the Appalachian Trail today and made a memory...one that’s just for me.

daylight saving time

Sunset at 4:49 PM is tolerable when it happens this way...

all in a day's work

the walk to work...


the office...


lunch break...



the view from my window...

follow your bliss

Sometimes it's nice to wake up on a weekend with absolutely no plan and see where the day takes you.

I ended up at the shore on Sunday. The ocean was calm and the beach was empty. It was almost as if I wasn't supposed to be there. I walked the shoreline, thinking about how crowded this same spot was just a few short months ago. The sun seekers and the swimmers are gone and this place is much more beautiful in the stillness.

I find myself craving these experiences...the ones that people prefer not to have...the beach when it isn't summer...the trails in the winter time. In our every day lives we are surrounded by a multitude of stimuli. It's refreshing to be in a situation where the only thing you can hear is the sound of the waves crashing on the shore or the sound of your footsteps on the dry, fallen leaves.


"If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are—if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time." - Joseph Campbell

el océano

"And the ones that can know you so well are the ones that can swallow you whole."
- Dar Williams

H2O-tto

DT on the AT: Virginia

Spontaneity has made me a more well rounded person...

There are 544 miles (roughly one quarter) of the Appalachian Trail in Virginia. About one hundred of these miles are in Shenandoah National Park. Further south, the Trail generally parallels the Blue Ridge Parkway, eventually going through the Mount Rogers National Recreation Area and then coming into the town of Damascus.

I stared outside my window in disdain for the wintry mix that had been falling from the sky all afternoon. As quickly as it arrived, fall had now disappeared. The reds, yellows and oranges of autumn had been replaced by white.

This time last year I was enjoying an unseasonably warm weekend in Shenandoah National Park. After speaking to a friend who had visited the park this week, I decided to take a last minute trip in an attempt to catch one last glimpse of fall. I packed up Saturday night and headed down to Front Royal, VA.

The hike to Mary’s Rock follows a 3.4 mile stretch along the Appalachian Trail (for a total hike of 6.8 miles), starting out from the Jewell Hollow Overlook on Skyline Drive.


I laced up my boots and hit the trail shortly before 10am. The first mile was a bit rough as there were several loose rocks. Once I hit the Pinnacle (viewpoint) things leveled out and the remainder of the hike was easy.


When I reached Mary’s Rock it was cold and windy. I only stayed there long enough to find a benchmark and my first virtual geocache.


Only a few others seemed to have been sharing the trail with me. The dusting of snow must have kept many people from venturing out. I enjoyed the solitude.

don't get comfortable

One of my co-workers at the ropes course said something to a group over the summer...learning occurs when you step outside of your comfort zone.

Those words resonated with me. I was reminded of it yesterday.

During a Bikram yoga class, the instructor made a reference to the recent earthquake in Turkey. She mentioned that they’re still pulling people, alive, from the rubble. Those people are in an uncomfortable position and they don’t have a choice.

We come to this class by choice. We place ourselves in uncomfortable positions to test our edge, to see how far we can go, how long we can hold a posture. She reminded us that many people are in uncomfortable positions and they don’t have any other choice.

Here’s to stepping outside of our comfort zones and learning from those uncomfortable situations.

geocaching 101

Geocaching is a high-tech outdoor treasure hunting game that's a great way to explore the world around you. Participants use GPS-enabled devices to locate hidden containers called geocaches.

There are over one million geocaches hidden around the world today, waiting for you to find them.

Geo-Vocabulary

TNLNSL: Took Nothing Left Nothing Signed Log

TFTC: Thanks For The Cache



A short video to show you how it's done...




Visit geocaching.com for more information and to search for geocaches near you.

DT on the AT: New Hampshire

There are 161 miles of the Appalachian Trail in New Hampshire. The Trail enters New Hampshire in Hanover along the Vermont state line and heads northeast into the White Mountain National Forest and exits at Grafton Notch near Bethel, Maine.

My friend and I planned a trip to the White Mountains for the weekend of October 21st. Her main objective was to go zip lining at Alpine Adventures. Mine was to hike a section of the Appalachian Trail. The hike that was most appealing to me, Franconia Ridge Trail, takes six and a half hours to complete. The fact that I had only four hours to hike was somewhat limiting.

We made our way up the Kancamagus Highway around 2pm toward the Lafayette Place Campground parking lot. On the way, we saw an AT sign for Liberty Springs and stopped off.

That hike would have taken too long, so we continued on to where we thought the Cascade Brook trail head was located. The guide at Alpine Adventures gave us the wrong information, which left us scrambling to find a way to get an AT hike in before sunset. Eventually, we located it on a section not far from Basin.

It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but the colors of fall made up for what the hike lacked. It left me longing for a return trip to New Hampshire before winter sets in.

The (Michael) Bolt(on) Bus

Destination: Boston

I’m headed to New Hampshire for the weekend to go zip lining, leaf peeping, and hiking on the Appalachian Trail. The drive to Boston is one of my least favorites. Once you hit the Garden State Parkway, it becomes a free for all through the armpit of NJ, then on to NY (where anything goes), CT (where no one knows how to drive) and finally MA (where drivers are referred to as “Mass-Holes”). Six weeks ago I drove to Boston on my way to Maine and I wasn’t eager to do it again. Fortunately, my friend has class at UMass this morning and agreed to pick me up at South Station. From there, we’ll continue on to Woodstock, NH.

This is my first long bus ride and I didn’t know what to expect.

Departure: 6:45AM, 30th Street Station
The sun was coming up along I-95 as we passed through the city. It was quiet and most of the passengers were sleeping.

Layover: 8:30AM, Newark NJ
This is where it gets interesting...

I set my bag on the empty seat, closed my eyes and kept my fingers crossed that no one would sit next to me.

Loud people began making their way down the aisle, then it smelled like the cosmetics counter at Macy’s, but I kept my eyes shut. I heard a man speaking in another language and thought that my reprieve had ended, but he chose another seat. We departed from Penn Station and I was in the clear.

The Bolt Bus smells like (in no particular order) fried chicken, a ham sandwich, bad perfume, bubble gum, oranges, Doritos and nasty hand sanitizer every time someone uses the bathroom (as a side note, peeing while riding on the bus is not an easy task).

I can’t say that I am necessarily looking forward to my return trip, but $56 is a bargain to let someone else deal with shitty drivers. And, as an added bonus,I heard a half hour long story about natural child birth under the care of a midwife.

I am writing this on the Bolt Bus, which has, at no additional charge, insanely slow Wi-Fi. Three more hours until South Station, hopefully this posts before then.


Photo courtesy of NBH Design

almost whole

some of the pieces that have helped to put me back together...

I had no choice but to listen to that

You’ve heard them in various places...songs you wish you didn’t have to listen to...songs that are now stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Thanks.

Bring me a higher love by Steve Windwood (Staples)

Wishing Well by Terrence Trent D’arby (The Burrito Place)

I’ve been thinking about you by London Beat (Grocery Store)

So emotional by Whitney Houston (Doctor’s office)

Conga by Gloria Estefan (Gym)

now weighing in at 23.6 pounds...

DT on the AT: Maryland

There are 41 miles of the Appalachian Trail in Maryland. The Trail follows the crest of South Mountain until it comes down and briefly joins the C&O Canal for a couple of miles before crossing the Potomac River, and entering Harpers Ferry.


The weather forecast for the day included a wind advisory, but plenty of sunshine. I had been trying to do this hike with my buddy for almost three months. Prior opportunities were spoiled by rain, so “what’s a little wind?” I thought to myself.

The hike to Annapolis Rock was 2.2 miles one way. We continued on another mile to Black Rock. Shortly before reaching Annapolis Rock, I fired up my Garmin Colorado and noticed that we were less than a quarter mile away from one of two geocaches on this section of the trail. We bushwhacked our way down the hill and located it without a problem.


I signed the log, deposited my Appalachian Trail Travel Bug into the cache, and we continued on to Annapolis Rock.


It’s amazing how protected you are from the elements while in the woods. Once on the rock bluff, we immediately felt the wind, which was gusting strong enough to make standing a difficult task. After a quick snack and a couple of photos, we continued on to Black Rock. There was another cache here (in a cave) about 40 feet below the rock bluff. Taking the 50mph winds into consideration, we decided that it wasn’t a good idea to go for it and started our return trip.


This is a nice day hike. The trail is definitely more forgiving than any sections that I’ve done in NJ, PA and VA. It felt good to hike on dirt instead of rocks, rocks and more rocks.