summer =

washington square

A little bit-o-history: Washington Square was one of Philadelphia's five original squares as laid out in 1682 by William Penn's surveyor, Thomas Holme. It was then called Southeast Square, as Quakers did not believe in naming places after people. Within 25 years of Penn's arrival, the square was being used as a potter's field and a burial yard for strangers in the city. It served in this capacity from 1704 to 1794. I started visiting this park five summers ago. 

There is a deli about a block away that sells cookies as big as your face. I grab a cup of coffee, a cookie and find a bench to sit and people watch. 

There are days when I am sad and I come here to forget.

There are days when I am sad and I come here to remember. 

There are days when I am happy and I come here to make memories, ones that I will carry inside until the next time my path crosses with the many other strangers who share this space with me.

Tour of the Sky: Day 2

The third stage was a 27.5 mile road race in Sussex County. 

Socks: I’m with awesome 

Pre-Race song: Normalize “Nostalgia” 

Fun Factor: 7 out of 10 because there was no action until I decided to shake things up on the final lap 

While we were lining up I was talking to a friend of mine who races for another team. She was in contention to place in the GC if she did well in this race, so I decided to do some work for her. For the past two and a half months, I’ve watched teammates work together during races and it really makes me wish I could be a part of something like that. 

After the race, we waited around forever for the results. There was a significant amount of chaos and the officials said not to bother waiting so we headed for Stokes State Forest to hike Sunrise Mountain and a section of the Appalachian Trail. 

The highlight of my weekend was scoring this most excellent Unicorn travel coin that was in a geocache located a few hundred feet from the Appalachian Trail. 

Tour of the Sky: Day 1

The first stage was a 4.6 mile uphill time trial in Stokes State Forest.

Socks: Unicorns

Pre-race song: Taylor Swift “Fearless”

Fun Factor: 10 out of 10 because I like hills and don’t mind suffering

The second stage was a 15 mile Crit on a 1.4 mile loop at the Sussex Fairgrounds.

Socks: DFL

Pre-Race song: Chevelle “Face to the Floor”

Fun Factor: 0 out of 10 because crits are lame 

After warming up on the course, lining up and taking the neutral lap, I decided not to race.

Watched my friend in the 1/2/3 race and then the two of us headed back to the hotel to shower and change for a geocaching expedition on the Sussex Branch Trail.

Full belly and passed out by 9pm...it was a good day.

these pages

One of my favorite things about you is that, when I read your words it's like I am reading my own...it's almost as if you've taken not only pages, but entire chapters out of my own book, the story of my life.

And so, you know these things about me without having to say a word...and you feel like home.

common sense

If I received one dollar for every person I saw riding a bike without a helmet BUT had to give back five dollars for every person I saw riding a bike with a helmet I would still have a considerable amount of cash. 

This is what a crash did to my helmet...

I can’t imagine what shape I’d be in if my head wasn’t protected and I just don’t understand why people ride without helmets.

Random Philly Finds Part IX

Sounds Painful...
 

in my own company

I saw this quote today by Oscar Wilde and it resonated with me...

"I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

For a little over a year now I have been doing all of my favorite things alone. I would rather be by myself than with someone else just for the sake of having company. I think that sometimes, people rush into relationships because they cannot be alone; I think that sometimes people stay in relationships because they cannot be alone.

While I definitely would prefer to have someone to share these experiences with, I also see the good that comes from spending time alone. My alone time is like a “gas station” where I refuel, reflect and strengthen myself. It makes me a better person, which in turn enhances my interactions with those around me. 

The Zeppelin Criterium

It had been two weeks since my last race. Since then, I’ve had a tremendous amount of fun on my bike (65 mile rides to Valley Forge with my buddy Lindsey who is training for Iron Man Lake Placid). I’ve also gone out for some long, solo hikes which I haven’t had the opportunity to do in several months. 

And during these past two weeks I’ve found myself, on more than one occasion, doing a gut check...or should I say more like a reality check. 

It was a combination of luck and fitness that got me through the first five races of the Cat 4 Cup Series. The sixth race, the Zeppelin Criterium, would be different. It is a technical course, with a series of difficult turns. I haven’t yet developed those skills to be effective (and most importantly safe) on a course like that. My teammate, who is a stronger, more experienced rider, was better suited to perform well.  

On Thursday, I went on a base ride with my coach. We talked about how the season was going and which types of races I’ve enjoyed. I told him that, despite crashing, the Ronde Van Mullica was my favorite race thus far and that I had already lined up a handful of road races over the course of the next two months that I would like to enter. We also talked about the Cat 4 Cup and how being in the lead has made me feel. Two weekends ago, when I rolled up to the line in my team kit, a woman called out to me “Hey Caffeinated, Don’t you have the yellow?” The yellow jersey has made me feel like a moving target, which is why I elected not to wear it for the two, most recent mass start races. As a new racer, it is a pressure and a distraction that I don’t need, especially after crashing twice at the beginning of the season. My focus needs to be elsewhere. 

My goal for this race was to make some strong attacks to help my teammate and that’s just what I did. With two laps to go, I left everything I had on the course. It was the first time I tested myself like that and it felt good. The technical skills are something that will come in time and the Cat 4 Cup can wait until season.

Random Philly Finds Part VIII

everyday heroes

In two months I’ll be traveling to Montana for vacation in Glacier National Park. It isn’t the first time I’ve been there, or even the second or third, but it is my favorite place and every time I go, the experience is different.

People have asked me if I’ve been to this country or that country...and I haven’t...I don’t even have a passport. There are so many places here, in the United States,  that I want to visit. I haven’t even considered traveling anywhere else.

I don’t have to look far and wide, across continents, for things that I’d like to see. There are plenty of them here in my own back yard. Similarly, I don’t have to look very far to find the people whom I admire. The best types of heroes are everyday heroes, the ones amongst us and I am fortunate enough to call one of mine a friend.

In September, her two-year-old nephew was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor (near his brain). I would venture to say that, for her family, it was their worst nightmare, BUT I don’t think that the terminal illness of an otherwise healthy child is something that any family considers. It’s one of those “WTF?” moments...it is surreal...and I know she questioned (and still does question) why this is happening to him.

And so their journey began...

During the course of the past nine months, I have witnessed her strength and compassion. There were times when she has had to keep it together, even though she was falling apart inside. There were times when she has shown more emotional maturity than her parents. The wisdom she has passed on to me is priceless. Her perspective on life is truly admirable.

All of this while going to grad school full time, her head needing to be in one place while her heart longed to be 200 miles away...All of this while struggling with the strain of being unemployed...All of this and she never gave up...I’ve seen her down, but she has always bounced back...All of this and she doesn’t even know what an inspiration she has been, not only to me, but to anyone who is fortunate enough to know her.

no way out

Since the start of my Bikram Yoga practice (a year and a half ago), the most important thing I’ve taken away from it is that the body will always try to find an easy way out. This became overwhelmingly evident while trying to hold a challenging posture for a minute (and then 30 seconds) in the 105-degree heat.

I don’t think that the brain is much different in that respect. Our minds will try to find the easy way out so that we don’t have to deal with things, whether it be our problems (past or present) or simply something that is unpleasant for us to think about...and there are plenty of distractions...we have TV and cell phones and the internet, which constantly demand our attention, they cause us to shift our focus elsewhere...and it is easier that way.

One of the biggest reasons why I enjoy hiking is because when you are alone in the woods there is no way out. There are no distractions. You are forced to be with yourself, your thoughts and feelings, the good and the bad.

I make it a priority to take a long hike at least twice a month. It keeps me balanced. It helps me, not only to remember who I am, but also to build upon that person, by facing whatever it is that my mind has tried to take the easy way out of.

The Tumbleweave Diaries

Holla for the Vitamix!

For the third time this week, I found myself singing the praises of the Vitamix. It is, without a doubt, the BEST thing I have ever purchased.

I first learned of this amazing machine from the owner of the Bikram Yoga studio where I practice. She was having a conversation with another woman about a nut sorbet she had made in the Vitamix. They both got really excited, so I asked what all of the fuss was over a high-speed blender. They explained (with conviction) that this was no ordinary high-speed blender, and then went on to list its many functions, along with handful of wonderful things that they had recently made in the Vitamix.

So, I checked out the web site and discovered that it is in fact an amazing machine, but that awesomeness comes with a hefty price tag. After a week or two of thought (and a pretty nice tax return) I pulled the trigger.

Digestion issues have resulted in me drinking two out of my three daily meals, so the Vitamix has been extremely helpful. Prior to this, I was using a juicer, which was a mess to clean. The Vitamix is easy to clean and it uses fruits/vegetables in their entirety so nothing is wasted.

Holla for the Vitamix!

Dear Peanut Butter

Dear Peanut Butter, 

Things have gotten a bit out of hand lately. 

I’ve found myself hoarding half empty jars of an assortment of your kind. There is a jar on my desk and a jar in my closet. I “hid” it there because I felt guilty about settling in with a good episode of House Hunters, a spoon and a jar of Organic Creamy from Wegmans. 

There is a jar in the laundry room, which was taken from my closet because I didn’t possess the will power to keep it there. There is a jar in the pantry, which was taken from my desk last month because I spilled peanut butter all over the keyboard. It was quickly replaced with some Valencia Creamy Salted from Trader Joe’s. 

Tonight, the vicious cycle came to an end when I discarded it all. Yes peanut butter, I love you, but it’s time to say goodbye. 

Yours Truly,

D

NJ ITT

The NJ ITT was the 5^th race in the NJBA Women’s Cat 4 Cup series.

My primary objective was to finish the 40K time trial as quickly as possible. I suppose that didn’t vary from everyone else’s objective, but mine was for a different reason.

About 40 miles away in Philadelphia, someone who was very special to me was participating in the most important race of her life, The Liberty Classic.

I hopped off the bike and into my car, not even taking the time to get changed. On the drive to Philly I thought about the two years that we stood together on Lemon Hill, watching the race. Now it was her turn.

I arrived, cowbell in hand, just in time to see the third climb up Lemon Hill and rang that bell so hard that there’s a cut in my finger.

The time trial seems like ages ago, but I’m pretty sure that when I wake up tomorrow morning I’ll be feeling it and quickly remember the suffering I endured for an hour and nine minutes.

The Watermelon Criterium

The watermelon criterium was held on the Rutgers Livingston Campus today. It was my first race of this nature, a .7 mile loop, which we completed 22 times. The third turn was into a 15 mph headwind and a stretch of road with a 3% grade. Where I'm from, we call that a hill.

I’m still at the point where all of this is new to me. Rather than enter with lofty expectations, I’ve decided to set realistic goals, raising the bar higher with each accomplishment.

At the start of the race, four riders took off as their teammates blocked. They were still in sight when I made a move to bridge the gap. I stayed on the front for what seemed like an eternity, which held their lead to 10 seconds, and then I realized that we’d never catch them because their teammates were in the field, blocking and playing keep away.

So, everyone pretty much sat up for the next half hour.

With two laps to go the pace picked up a bit, then the bell rang. I took the inside line on the second turn and started to pick up speed. I took the third turn alone and chugged up the “hill." My only thought was “don’t look back, whatever you do, don’t look back."  I reeled in another rider on the final turn. I was gasping for air and caught her attention...click click...she started to gear up for a sprint, which kinda made me laugh because I was going to let her cross the line ahead of me anyway. She had done a lot of work on the front during the race and, whether it is right or wrong for me to make that call, she deserved 6^th place...I like the number 7 better anyway...guess I still have a lot to learn about bicycle racing.

June 1, 2012

Today was the first day that I have been in my house since February of 2011. 

The rooms were empty and the walls were bare. The smell of my favorite laundry detergent was gone. I set up the ladder and began to paint in silence. 

Over the course of the past year, several people have asked me if I was going to move back into my house. My answer has always been “No.” But, if there ever was a doubt in my mind, today just reconfirmed it. 

I left the keys on the kitchen counter and locked the front door, hoping that I won’t have to go back there again for another year.